World Premiere

YAWL blows me. Consistently.  Whoops! Forgot a word bro. YAWL BLOWS ME AWAY.  It's like every time I assume I know what the song is going to end up sounding like, or what I think the video will look like for that song that I think I know what it'll sound like, well, shit just goes the other fucking direction and I'm left standing here with my johnson in my hand. The sullen, yet somehow hopeful, "Sundial" has that grating buzz behind it that's almost like a bed of luxurious fettucine covered in butter. It's comfortable, sure, and writhing around in it is pretty erotic if I do say so myself. Hell, I've never felt a butter-coated noodle there before. But it's the sheen that that simple strummed guitar sample creates that makes this song so fucking...

Leitbur is the setting you turn your brain to when everything else is overwhelming. Leitbur is the second bowl of chips delivered to your table, and they're still piping hot and shimmering in grease, just waiting for you to dip them shits in some chilled motherfuckin' salsa. Leitbur is the cool side of the pillow on the wrong side of town on the better half of the spring season.  Everything about Leitbur's music is therapeutic. From the nostalgic memories of tight rolled jeans, slap bracelets, and premature ejaculationz, to the soothing synthesized synthetic pastels and neons swirling around my bucktoothed pre-teen self, there is nothing Leitbur can't be used for. From osteoporosis to lesions on the soul...

This is my best friend Tim. Tim is a rapper. If you don't understand because I didn't give him a rap nomdeplume, dude's rap name is Alaska. He's been one of my favorite rappers since before I met him, and after I met him I didn't even know he was the rapper I was already a huge fan of. It's kismet we're besties, not just because I can brag that he's what this song entails, but because he's SUPES HANDSOME. All cockrubbing aside, peep the new single from power pop duo Words Hurt, featuring rappering by Alaska and production by Lang Vo. Also, the B Side has some guesties in Marilyn Carino (LOVE HER, LOVE HER SHOW!) and Hemlock Ernst aka Sam Herring from Future Islands.  This is the lead...

Oh, Gregory Pepper. I can remember when you’re Problems first stole my innocent heart. It was way back in 2012’s Great Depression, when Ceschi and the rest of us whipper snappers used to walk uphill in the snow both ways and all we had to eat for dinner was poppa’s Common Grackle.  You were my mantra, Sir Pep. Can I call you Pep? Peps, perhaps? You held my hand when the future shock of grindcore bpms became too much. You taught me, maaaaan, fuck every single fucking animal in the zoo. And I love you for that!  I confess Gregory. Greg? That I lost my way up Crystal Skull Mountain. But now, now with this...

If James Bond had a cameo in Nacho Libre, you'd have the basic plot of the world premiere video, "The Spy," from Bay Area rap duo Onewerd and Pete Feliciano.  As "the spy," Onewerd goes deep. Severed fingers and drive-by espionage are just a fact of life for our syllabic protagonist. This Mexican rap epic and burrito-inducing chorus left me wanting more. What's the next episode? Who's gonna die next? Is Pete Feliciano, as "the mariachi," really there or a figment of our collective wet dreams? I love the styling a la Beastie Boys meets Bullwinkle. I love the creativity. I love the cimematics. I love Onewerd and Pete Feliciano.  Onewerd, educator and all around stand-up...

I love how this immediately sounds like a smooshwich of The 1975 and A Silent Film, but with looser fitting pants and a wardrobe consisting of more than black and white V-necks.  Venus Demilo are a complete unknown for me, but the post rock distortion over the chorus that doesn't seem to smother the gentle insertions of the vocal on the verse is completely fucking appreciated. I love dainty poppy guitars like anyone else who isn't afraid of letting down his machismo, but that distorted grit is polished in such a way that it almost seems to intensify how fucking pleasant this whole song is. One trait of "Sophia" that most might not pick up on right away is how incredibly brief the song feels. At just under three minutes, it forces me listen to the song twice, at a...

I decided the best way to write about this video was with a silly 16 bars:  Cuddliest curmudgeon coming correct with the Warm Hands /  Mr. Sammy slamming mics down your throat like you’re force fed /  And Ogar Burl hurling verbs to the curb like he’s Xaul Zan /  It’s ok, I forgive you because we keeping it all fam /  All up on your team up / just like Justice League, tough /  Song names I can’t pronounce but still it’s some clean stuff /  Mr. Sammy, the only b-boy whose hair does a cool stance /  Collaborating with Ogar Burl, you know that dude with the huge hands /  I see that you put together some smooth plans /  And I...

There aren't many things I love more than beats. I love it when producers fire the rapper because that means I get to ride my own flow in my dome without the incessant "uh, yo" of today's rapping rappers.  But the beat has to murder. SO THEN I TRIP OVER THIS FAT ASS BURNING LOG OF HELL YEA LAST WEEK, and it's some group of bros producing under the moniker House of Spirituals. Not only can I get the fuck down with a name like that, I'm sort of giddily forcing myself to try and relax while bumping off their new new titled "Too Many Days". But I'll tell you, it's difficult letting a vibe like this relax you when all you wanna do is clap in front of your body after extending your arms behind your back and tilting your head back towards the sky. The crisp ass snap of...

Dildo of God? More like vibrator of my ear clits. Yes, clits, plural. That's what makes music so stimulating. Now, grab a hold of your pillow and arch your back like you know.  I half expected some rapey bro metal, Satanic porn pop, or maybe a good ole lesbian folk outfit. With a name like Dildo of God and my overactive imagination, the possibilities were really endless.  The thing I didn't expect was for it to be a rap song. And not only that, a fucking DOPE rap song. The track is dark and deep down and deliciously worded in pointed imagery and shaving cream. Out of Greensboro, North Carolina, Dildo of God aka D.O.G. are rapper Daily Planet, Tommy Flake, Dottie Na$h, and...

This fucking song "Redesigned Maestro" is all over the fucking place. It's like a dreamy folk song, but then it's got these glitchy electro Radiohead elements, and then it's got some elements of scream and post rock, but it still retains that innocent folkiness where you can totally tell this band had sex outside of marriage.  GROOMBRIDGE sound like strange smooshwich between Sufjan Stevens and AFI, but instead of there being tattoos on everyone, everyone just carries around the original artwork inspirations for their would-be tattoos and no one judges anyone for all the moons and barbed wire and Chinese characters on everyone's laps.  If I get around to adding another band to be a fanatic about, I think GROOMBRIDGE would be an exelfuckinglent...