Our Interview with Snowmine Frontman Grayson Sanders

I initially contacted the bassist from Snowmine, Jay Goodman, to see if they'd cover a theme song for our awesome Pop Cultures Collide feature. Rather than hash out the details via e-mail, me and Jay had a friendly FaceBook chat. Immediately, Jay impressed me with his ability to effortlessly incorporate poop puns into everyday conversation. Jay had me laughing so hard I almost had a shart attack.

Poop puns are the shit!

Long story short, we put the Pop Cultures Collide cover on hold and arranged ourselves an interview because I knew Snowmine wouldn't be the type of vaginas who'd shy away from our probing questions. Furthermore, I love their music because it gets my hairz raisin' in all the right places... if you know what I mean.

Jay hooked me up with front man, question answerer, and Jesus doppelganger Grayson Sanders... here we go:

SYFFAL: Please list the members of you band, the instrument they play and a unique non-musical talent they possess. I hear Jay specializes in poo knuckles.

Grayson Sanders: I'm Grayson, I sing and play key knobbins. Jay plays the bass. He says he's not familiar with "poo knuckles," but you might be thinking of 'Cluckle Knuckles,' the 3rd-3rd Party-Grade-D-Non-Profit Chicken Chain we set up for tax write-offs. Alex plays the pizza bongos. Austin plays the wormhole. Calvin plays the mythological Hydra.

SYFFAL: For the assholes out there who don't know anything about Snowmine, please describe your sound... in haiku form:

Grayson Sanders:

Within round margins

Space swallows intersections

And closes back in.

SYFFAL: That's deep. So, I hear you are working on a new LP? Tell us about it.

Grayson Sanders: Yep--Can't say much about it besides the fact that we've never been so excited. The sound is not a full departure; I'd say it sort of picks up where the last left off, but there's a newfound sense of focus across the songs that I think can only happen once you play together for long enough.

SYFFAL: How many songs are dedicated to Syffal and what are their titles?

Grayson Sanders: Interesting for you to ask. Track 2 is dedicated to you; it's 28 minutes long. The subject matter is an epic poem about a monkish elf named Snyffal who ventures into Hell by accident after stealing lemonade from a cripple. To reach the afterlife he must deliver 5 sarcastic comments involving toilet humor to an ebonics speaking rabbit named 'Foot.'

SYFFAL: I can't wait to hear it! Funny that you mention 'toilet humor'though. I'm very studious and continually work on developing my Syffal 'toilet' vocabulary. A good tool for this is Urban Dictionary. Currently, what is your favorite Urban Dictionary term? Mine is The Arabian Bull Whip. It is when you shit into a tube sock and hit somebody over the head with said tube sock.

Grayson Sanders: Premature Exasperation: Becoming upset about something before knowing all (or any) of the details.

SYFFAL:... Now use 'Snowmine' and your Urban Dictionary term in a sentence:

Grayson Sanders: When Bastian finds out he has to re-build Fantastica, Falkor is prematurely exasperated because he fears more of Bastian's prepubescent screams of exhilaration, taxing his sensitive Dog-Dragon ears. Little does he know, Moonchild has provided him earbuds for the trip, in which he can listen to Snowmine songs.

SYFFAL: You were our Bandcamp Artist of the week a month ago. I mentioned that the uplifting moments in your songs made my pubes prickly. Is this something you strive for?

Grayson Sanders: I'd say there's definitely a "Chia Pet" element we go for, although we'd been aiming for the ear hairs. Need to check the settings on my Prickle Gun.

SYFFAL: Can my pubes be the guinea pig for songs on the new album? Just so we are on the page... If the tracks don't pass the prickly test then you will need to trash the song. I'm just advisin'.

Grayson Sanders: Not sure we know each other well enough for the guinea pig experiment, but you can write all about it to our attorneys when we sue you for statutory. (We're all 14. Yeah I know, not aging well).

SYFFAL: I'd hate to see what you all will look like at 30, but Speaking of pubes (assuming you have any yet), who has the best manscapped region in Snowmine?. What shape is the design? Are we talking your ordinary upside down triangle or does he shoot for the star? Del's pubes are in the shape of a Menora.

Grayson Sanders: I've never seen any bandmate's privates, but I'm worried about a Captain Planet effect if they ever came together.

SYFFAL: At Syffal we have a weekly column called 'Stop Sleeping.' In the column we highlight bands who we feel have slipped under the radar. Who are some bands that you feel we should Stop Sleeping on?

Grayson Sanders: I like Braids a lot. Think they're one of the best live bands in NY.

SYFFAL: I shall check them out. Grayson, you look like Jesus. Are you one of those pricks who wears sandals in the winter and sweaters in the summer?

Grayson Sanders: I actually don't own any sandals because they were stolen from me last Winter by a snow leopard.

I can't speak to the Jesus comment because it would violate my recent fashion contract with the Vatican's new Fall, and Winter, and Spring, and Summer Line: "SILLY HATS"

SYFFAL: It is obvious that Snowmine discriminates against women because you don't have any fems in the group. You smell like sausage, wear SILLY HATS, and have no eye candy. Which of these all-girl groups would you Fuck, marry, and kill? The Spice Girls, Wilson Phillips, and Salt N' Peppa. Explain your reasoning.

Grayson Sanders: You guys are menaces-- but you're right TimTom.

SYFFAL: TimTom? Please don't call me that. Go on...

Grayson Sanders: I'm going to look at this from a purely Darwinian perspective for a second. Which of these three would you want to intersect genes with? A Wilson daddy, and a Mama and Papa Papa's-Mama? The answer is: Uh huh, Wilson and Philips. And not only good Genes but good Jeans. Have you seen the video for 'Hold On?' I guess the only parting words I can leave with, (and I hope you take them to heart)

I know this pain.

Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?

No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you

Do you TimTom?

Why??

Tear ;(

SYFFAL: Fuck you Grayson, I told you not to call me that! This interview is over. If there any events that you butt plugs want to plug then you better do it fast.

Grayson Sanders: On Jan 5, we're playing on a great bill at Glasslands. Also, we start our Thursday night Piano's Residency in February. The shows will all be sponsored by different blogs and the bills will be fantastic. We'll look out for you!

Check it out

SYFFAL: That looks cool. We are invited? I can't stay mad at you, Jesus. I love Snowmine you son of a prickle gun.