Billions and Billions

Self Titled

8
8/10
Joel Frieders | November 9, 2010

Google "billions and billions" and over half of the results returned to you will referece Carl Sagan's Astronomy/Cosmology book from 1998 of the same title, or his many quotes regarding how many fucking stars there are in the fucking sky. What does this mean for you the listener?

It means the producer dude, or produdecer as I will now refer to him, is a bit of a space case. The good news is that you probably won't run into the dude on the street and be pressured to buy his music, the bad news is, he's probably a pretty good lay, using only his music to judge him by.

That being said, I downloaded this off the recommendation of a few different blogs I read on the reg, and I ended up parked on the side of a country road staring at the reflection of the sun off of the corner of a ONE LANE ROAD AHEAD sign. What does that tell you? It should fucking tell you that I was not only hypnotized and spellbound, but I actually had the taste of really really good weed in my mouth even though I have not participated (or poticipated as I will now call it) in years.

Billions and Billions does an awesome fucking job of creating a spacey environment with strings, synths, airy guitars and a steady relaxing rhythm, then as if throatfucked by a drug addled horsecock - THWAM the drums and guitars just start ejaculating all over the nuns and kindergarden teachers in the front row. It's a fucking massacre of ass, an assacre. There are mommas cryin, babies cryin, my neck, my back, my neck and my back, I'll be yo snack-pak sugar, IT'S FUCKING EUTHANASIA IN MY EARS BUT IM LOVINGGGG IIIITTTT! I WANT TO STAB A PUMPKIN WITH A FLAMING HOT ICE PICK! I WANT TO SET FIRE TO MY OWN PANTS WHILE IM STILL FUCKING WEARING THEM! AAAAAHHHHHHH!

*exhale*

It's back to hunkey dorey and I've managed to calm down my intestines enough to pinch senor loose feces back up inside of me and enjoy another track from the talented Billions & Billions.

THEN OUT OF NOWHERE THE DISTORTED GUITAR SLAPS ME IN THE COLON AND THERE ARE DOZENS OF ROLO SIZED SHITS EMANATING FROM OUT ME BOWELS! IT'S FUCKING GROSS, BUT HO DAMN PAINT ME IN THE COLOR OF LIQUID SHIT AND CALL ME LIQUID SHITTY, this album is fucking awesome.

Imagine God Is An Astronaut strapping a bag over the head of Boards of Canada and assraping it with a pinata in the shape of RJD2 with a festivus pole stuffed up his ass.

That's my description and I hope I've filled your day with glee.

I loved this shit so much I reached out to the producer and told him three things: his fly was down, I liked his music and I boned his girlfriend/boyfriend (SYFFAL DONT DISCRIMINATE). He responded with a meek "Thank you may I have another" and thus the interview was bornded.