Our Interview with Shannon O'Connor

Sometimes the internet gives you something that makes you giggle. And then sometimes the internet gives you something that makes you both giggle AND realize you aren't alone in this world.

I mean, it's hard out here for a guy who draws dicks on everything.

I normally get excited when autumn sets in because it means I can sketch cock n' balls on random car windows and windshields. I normally keep the bathroom door closed when I shower so I can tag my bathroom mirror with a sloppy doodle of the cash and prizes. I even draw the twig and berries in the snow with my own urine on occasion.

Fanatical?

MORE LIKE FANADICKAL, AMIRITE?

Anywhoo, I found a new friend named Shannon O'Connor (or ShredToon as she is known on AOL chat, or Shannon O'Connor as I call her on text mexages) through another friend named Arlene (I just call her Titz) and this new friend is my lost long sister in dick drawringz, except she's fucking really fucking good at it. These shits are like professionally drawrn dick pics, like to the point where I'm pretty sure I'm going to tattoo one of her dicks on my lower back at some point.

After reading this interview, if you aren't as in love with her as I am, you are a piece of shit with no fucking sense of humor and should stick to the Big Bang Theory bruh.

Ready for all the Shannon O'Connor cock?

SHREDTOON INTERVIEW GO:

SYFFAL: I met you because you draw dicks. I too, am a dick drawrerer. In fact, my favorite season is foggy window season or snow season because I get to illustrate many a surface a vehicle with my dicksketches. Where did you dickscover your penchant for cock pics?

Shannon O'Connor: We met for the best reason, I would go as far as to call it divine interVIENtion. Foggy window/snow season is definitely when I shine as I am a snowboarder. There are many dicks to be made on snowy surfaces all throughout nature. I may have still been in the womb when I began drawing dicks. It's foggy on there. I can't remember a beginning.

SYFFAL: That's what she said. No, you. You are she, and that is what you said. Why are you looking at me like that? Does your passion for the piston stem from your sexuality in that you see the penis like a rock star in that you support its music but you'd never want to hang out with it in that I've said in that like four times in this sentence and stuff?

Shannon O'Connor: The penis is definitely a rock star, well at least mine is.

SYFFAL: OMG. When I draw dicks, I like to be in my special place. Most notably, here on earths. Where is your special place for penistrating?

Shannon O'Connor: I've drawn dicks everywhere from the toilet, to my kitchen, to a friend's toilet. All places are special when there is dick drawing involved. If I could fly in a penis rocket into space and draw a penis rocket while inside of the rocket, I could say truly, I have arrived.

SYFFAL: Insert Inception-related cock joke HERE. I've learned from your facebook page, which I have stalked and enjoyed delicious heirloom tomatoes while stalking, that you are a roller blader derby personz. I love roller blader derby people because they tend to stay more towards "I'm awesome because I say I am not because you think I might be" type shits. Do you believe this to be true, and would you draw a dick about it?

Shannon O'Connor: That is true. I am awesome because you say I am. I fuggin' looooove heirloom tomatoes. How's this?

SYFFAL: Derby balls wear skatez? MIND BLOWNZ! How many requests have you received so far to draw someone else's penis?

Shannon O'Connor: I've been asked if I need models. But I have a pornographic memory so I'm all good.

SYFFAL: I would like to request a Napoleon Bonaparte penis.

Shannon O'Connor: I'm drunk and high. All I have is a Sharpie an I phone and more beer. But OK.

SYFFAL: Are you of the school of thought that thinks that a man's penis resembles him? In this case, what does your penis look like?

Shannon O'Connor: Hahaha. I guess so. Mine looks like Emile Hirsch.

SYFFAL: HE IS SUCH A DICK! I am obsessed with Arlene Flynn. I've been told that she shares an obsession with me. Do you think you can draw a picture of Arlene and I as dicks sharing this obsession of each other, with each other?

Shannon O'Connor: How is this?

SYFFAL: DUDE. DAMN DUDE. YOUR DICKS ARE JUST... I realize I'm asking for a lot of dick pics, but you have to understand that you are pretty fucking close to my John Wayne, if John Wayne was a dick drawing ninja. Speaking of which, what does a dick drawing ninja look like? Is that person a dick also?

Shannon O'Connor: No one has ever said anything like this to me before. I think I just farted. So much for being a ninja. Dick drawing ninja is a dick for sure.

SYFFAL: Have you considered running for pubic office?

Shannon O'Connor: Yes. I have poliDICKal ideas and could have a nice DICKtatorship if I can get enough votes. Every Friday will be free Beer and pizza and Pot. It will be illegal to wake up before 9:00 a.m.

SYFFAL: On a scale of 1 to 8, with 1 being the number of dicks you drew in high school and 8 being the number of dicks you drew since the end of the cold war, what would you consider your favorite part of the penises that you create?

Shannon O'Connor: Balls.

SYFFAL: Say that again.

Shannon O'Connor: Balls.

SYFFAL: Mmhmm. Was custom penis creator on your resume yesterday? Will it be tomorry?

Shannon O'Connor: I NEED TO UPDATE MY RESUME

SYFFAL: What is your real job, besides drawing the cock? I'm not standing here saying one can't make a career out of drawing dicks or anything, I'm just curious.

Shannon O'Connor: I'm a certified animation ho. FOX has a strong pimp hand.

SYFFAL: What else have you created, non-dick related, that you feel might be more profitable yet hasn't been as popular as your dicks?

Shannon O'Connor: Me and a pal created a toon called Eddiebear and Little O. Plz come come be liking us on the Facebooks. I am too drink to figure out how to put a link to the page.

SYFFAL: Too drink? Awwww, here let me insert this for you. HERE IS THE LINK TO EDDIEBEAR AND LITTLE O. How does that feel? What is next for you the artist? What about you the dick sketcher? What about you the human? What about you the professional graphic artist?

Shannon O'Connor: Me the artist, the dick sketcher and the human, I plan to take it all one dick at a time. I would settle for fame and fortune.

SYFFAL: I seriously love your dicks. I also find you deliciously gorgeous. I would prefer it if you forgot that I'll be watching. Unless you're into being watched, then we can set up a skype sesh sometimez yo.

Shannon O'Connor: I guess we r going to skype then?

SYFFAL: OMG I LOVE YOU

Shannon O'Connor: I LOVE YOU MORE, I'm pretty sure. Thanks for loving my dicks. They make me happy. This makes me happy.

SYFFAL: Go to WWW.NEWDAYNEWDICK.TUMBLR.COM and put the dick rss shit in your rss feed so everytime there's a new dick, YOU'LL GET DICK! STICK THIS UP YOUR RSS!

SYFFAL SIDE NOTE: In celebration of my trip with Storm Large to meet Rosie the other day, Shannon O'Connor went all dicky and drew this amazing dickture of Rosie O'DONGell.