Kiev

I’ve missed you keyboard thing bro.

I’VE MISSED YOU BRO JOEL.

I appreciate that you feel as strongly as I, technological invention I tickle daily.

*CURTSEY*

Dudes and other dudes, life threw its balls on my shoulder and I was caught up in the land of no keyboard and time where guys don’t get the bropportunity to spew their music appreciations. I sorries bros. Shall we?

Kiev. Kiev is this band that when I think about them I think about playing air drums until I then have to take over responsibility on the air sax bro. Excuse me bro.

Kiev. Kiev is this band that I’ve taken to spending a great deal of time with, and more importantly their drummer. We have a thing bro. I guess you could say it's pretty serious. 

Kiev. Kiev is this band that has this fucking bass player and drummer hot pocket thing going on, where they just always sound like they’re in the fucking hole loving the piss out of their shit.

TRANSLATION: The bassist and drummer operate in a completely insane tandem.

Not to even belittle or dismiss the other amazingly welcoming instrumental traits found on this band’s shit, I’ll get to those jagbags in a minutes or twosies. But you seriously haven’t heard a pairing of drums to bass like this in fucking forever.

It’s like a fucking instagram filtered Pepsi commercial where some good looking asshole in shaggy hairz and a button down is just wailing on the bass and some bearded dude (you’re positive would be your cool friend if you were to ever befriend him) is giggling while he just found the most perfect frame of the song on the drums. And then they just *exhale and nod bro*.

Not even pulling this out of my ass, I hear some slight Jamiroquoi drum to bass grooves on a few of these tracks (it’s funky without being funk and it’s comfortable without being tame). I could only imagine hearing these two jars of shit just murder an hour of my life with just the two of them flow flowin back and forth. THAT’S A SUGGESTIVE SELF INVITATION KIEV BAND GUY BROS.

Wait tho.

Tube Orms bros. At the 2:17ish mark on the song Tube Orms, something happens though. All of a sudden your idea of what a build is supposed to feel like is completely force dry humped by an invisible mist of HOLY HELL WHY IS MY HEAD THWACKING SO MY EARS ARE TICKLING MY SHOULDERS? Oh god, the first time this song happened to me (I AIN’T EVEN BE LISTENIN, THIS SCHITT JUST BE HAPPENIN) I was just beaming with this pride that really has nothing to do with me as a person but has more to do with the fact that I JUST APPRECIATE THAT I WAS ALIVE TO EXPERIENCE THE FIRST TIME I EVER HEARD THAT BUILD JUST DESTROY MY FACE.

Kiev. Kiev is this band that made me feel this feel I wasn’t even sure if I feel I was correct in assuming I was describing experiencing a feeling while feeling by its description that I experienced.

There is so much I could fucking write about when it comes to this band right now, but I owe it to brevity to not mention each thing I think. That’s a lot of thinks to think.

I’m impressed from every corner of this band’s square footage, as there has to be a pretty large fucking footprint to fit all of this instrumentation under one sound. Without making one of the many elements less of a load bearing attribute to a song, Kiev have somehow managed to make a pile of different sounds sound like intentionally cohesive architecture where you’re better suited to stare slack jawed at its delivery than patiently understand its beauty.

The vocals in this band are Jose Gonzalez with personality (NO DIS JOSE!) with an added propensity for mojitos and dual finger points because it’s ironic. He’s edgy and mysterious, sure, but he knows how to have a good time bro, cmon. You think this sleeveless hooded sweatshirt just sleevelessed itself bro? From the throat this dude has it in the controlled and intimate areas, but when this dude is all mojito’d out, and he’s all Thom Yorke’d up in the fishbowl camera, holy shit this dude has the pipers bro. He's the guy you google from your phone bro, just to see what other dudes are saying so you don't feel alone in your "dude we should be dudes me and you dude" shit you got goin on. Hahahaaaaahahaha. 

Sorry. I unintentionally hipped a good friend of mine that he has a bro crush on someone and I've been laughing on the inside for days. There's nothing wrong with bro crushes bros, it's just funny to talk about and watch insecure guys squirm. 

K, so Kiev bros. 

The guitar player is so damn percussive on top of drums already so precise and sick, it’s crazy how you can hear this dude “flink” down a chord strike while the drummer is all ride cymbal and the bass fiddler is twiddling all fast and shit. For other bands this would sound fucking muddled. In the fucking band Kiev this sounds like they are either the world’s greatest audio engineers all recording from the privacy of their respective bedrooms across the planet, or holy balls get this, they’re just the best sounding collection of 43758974502 noises today.

Yo but if you want hard dick proof that this guitar player is staaacked? Listen to the start of Pulsing: Home Now. Joe Satriani on amazing pot brownies bro. Surfing With The Alien type amazing bro. 

Either way bro, holy shiiiiiit this is a fucking baaaaaand bro.

The horns bro? THEY AREN’T HORNY, THEY’RE JUST THE RIGHT FLAIR BRAH. BET YOU SIX BUCKS THE PINKIES ON THIS SAX MAN ARE HALF COCKED, because why show off everything with the full pinky extension? What am I, a whore? Let’s leave a little something to the imagination, fer cripes sakes bros.

So yeah, Kiev bros.

If you’re unafraid of letting music flail you in ways you hadn’t planned when you woke up, and want to see how far mere music might take you when thinking about all of the different shits that music can make you feel, fucking Kiev bros.

And I promise to never type 'mere music' again.

Because that’s bullshit.

Ain’t nothin’ mere bout music bros.

PEEP THIS AND THEN BUY EVERYTHING THEY MAKE EVER.