Yes, SYFFAL doesn't write negative reviews. We might shit on you in private while sipping a delicious sangria with a spear of tropical fruitz, but our website doesn't shit on music. We might shit on your homeland (especially if you're Irishy), but your music is something we appreciate, even when we don't care for it personally.
Because we don't write negative album reviews, we don't cover everything you might send us (if you're an artist/band/PR company, that is). That doesn't mean we're pretentious fucks, it means we respect the fact you create shit. We respect it enough to respect ourselves enough not to disrespect it when disrespecting it might be the only type of respect we would ever have for it, respectfully.
We are sick of being on the recieving end of music from bands/rappers/producers that is horribly delivered. We love music too much to sit idly by and let this shit keep happening. If you are a person who is submitting music to blogs via submission forms or emails, fucking read this shit. We are not afraid to teach people how not to suck. We are not suggesting these are laws in anyone's book anywhere, but shit, if it makes it less annoying for us and others, YAY!
Submitting your music to music blogs isn't difficult, and it shouldn't be. Being organized on your end will increase the likelihood of your music being listened to if it isn't fucking work for the person trying to listen to it. So we came up with a few things to keep in mind that might help you get your shit in our SYFFAL holes, as well as other blogs.
Stop being a fucking prick and do a few simple things will ya?
Tag yo shit.
If your music is all labeled UNTITLED or has all the information in JUST the track name, you're a fucking poopie face.
Do this: Dump your music into iTunes, select all of your songs, right click, select GET INFO, and then individually tag your songs.
We get so much music that if we like it we want to tell people about it. Don't shit in our fishtank by not tagging your shit properly. Even if we like something, there's nothing we can do with untitled/untagged music.
There is nothing worse than going "Who the fuck is this? This is awesome!" and then throwing your iPod out the window cause it just says the name of the song, or even worse Untitled by Untitled from the album Untitled.
FUCK YOU!
EDIT: I'M SO FECKING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS I WROTE THIS! READ THIS!
Correspondence shouldn't ask for permission to send correspondence.
When you contact a blog, include everything in your initial correspondence.
Don't ask where you can send a link.
Don't ask where you can send a physical CD.
Don't ask if it's okay to submit music.
First, you are submitting a form titled "Music Submission", of course you can submit music.
Second, asking for permission to use an internet form titled with what you want to do in the first place is a bit circular in logic, yes?
Third, we all act like we've done this before, so act like you've done this before.
SYFFAL isn't a bunch of assholes, so we normally just say "Sure, send it over" but I've heard from some bands that other blogs get pretty snippy about that shit. So stop sending meaningless correspondence. Unless of course, you are complementing Tim's supple man purse.
Make it easy for yourself by making it easy for the blog you're sending shit to
Zip all of the files you want the blog to have in one .zip or .rar file and upload it. Do not email huge 100MB zip files. This is 2011, there is no excuse for sending actual mp3's attached to emails.
Write a one to three sentence note describing who you are and what you're sending. If you're sending a video, send a video link. If you're sending a bandcamp link, include a password for a download. We're not buying your disc, and we do NOT know how to navigate CD Baby bro.
Make it easy. ZIP IT. Stop staring at Tim's 5th chin.
Things not to include.
Do not fucking attach a 1.5MB picture of the band or album artwork to an email.
Do not fucking send a myspace link.
Do not fucking send a Reverb Nation link.
Do not fucking send an Audiomack link.
Do not fucking send a Datpiff link.
Do not fucking send an iTunes link.
Do not fucking send a blog link to another blog to read about your band and how it should also be on their blog because another blog considered your music bloggable. Yes, bloggable.
Be brief. Be sincere. Be personal. A person who receives dozens of these emails a day can tell when you've sent the same message to everyone on your list of blogs to send shit to. Especially when you call us by the name of another blog. THAT HURTS BRO.
DID I MENTION "TAG YO SHIT"?
Argh! I just listened to an awesome 4 songs. When I went a checked the aritst, THERE WAS NONE. That fucking sucks.
Don't suck.
Be awesome.