Klangstof

*Disclaimer: This review ended up taking a lot longer to review than originally expected, mainly because we got busy and forgot about it. This review was actually started in August, hence the references to Trump's hands and Stranger Things. During that span of time Joel dropped out of the group review, Alex lost his virginity to a robot madam in a virtual world, and Tom is in mourning because his wife is making him throw away all his open toed sandals. BUT we had to finish this review because we (most of us) still love this fucking album. 

Tom: Despite the need to conform to music like blogs and publications would expect, we have very different tastes at SYFFAL. Some of us hate shit we're supposed to love like Frank Ocean or Bon Iver. And some of us love shit that we're supposed to hate like Coldplay or Megan Trainer (Joel's all about dat bass). SO when two or more of us love an album that we want to review....it really is the highest praise we can lay upon an artist. 

And the latest artist we want to mutual bone in a sauna is Klangstof. Joining me in this sensual sauna group sesh are Joel and our newest (and body hairless) contributor Alex. Dude is like a Ken doll down there. 

Hopefully we don't leave Alex in the dust because he has to analyze everything he writes to death and takes forever to reply. I keep telling him: write first and ask for forgiveness later. SYFFAL is like a tweeting Trump minus the racism and small hands. 

Our hands are girthy, bro. And uncircumcised. 

....in case you were wondering. 

But enough about our sausage digits. Let's get to the meatier main course. Klangstof is the moniker of a dude name Koen, a tall Scandinavian drink of water who I know very little bit about. According to his bio he was the bassist in a band called Moss, but always yearned to create something on his own so he locked himself in his basement with some waffles, lube and wrote this album about disillusionment.....and waffles. (Disclaimer, I'm not 100% on his height or his love for waffles, but one can assume, right?)

I'll start us off and say this album gives me hella visuals. Mainly Joel converging from a foggy horizon in a black unitard. Am I the only one who is inundated with foggy dramatic visuals while listening to these songs? Help explain this to me. 

Alex: I don't know what you're talking about Thom, I don't get foggy dramatic visuals while listening to this album. It's clearly dramatic foggy visuals and Joel has a leopard thong on that lusciously smooth head of his.

I love this album. It's like Radiohead meets Phoenix. Doolhof is a perfect opening track. Just a mellow floaty instrumental intro to this glorious album. It's like the start of a mushroom trip, it just washes over you with wave after wave until the funky synth line tells you that you're gonna go on a crazy journey full of worldly realizations that won't make any sense the next morning. Which is interesting because Doolhof translates to "Maze" in not freedom language. I see what you did there, waffle eater....very clever.

Thom & Bowl french fries, what songs make your dingle tingle?

Tom: I love that opening track too, but what I love most is when it transitions into the second track. It was that very moment when I started to do the truffle shuffle and knew this album was going to be amazing. 

However, I think 'Hostage' is, and will always be my favorite track on this album because the build at the end is so M83, but this wobbly bass line keeps it grounded. This probably doesn't make sense, but the whole second half of the song is oddly satisfyingly disatisfying....like it is trying to lift up your spirit, but your spirit is stuck in quick sand. It has this weird dichotomy of opposing feelings that makes me remember the time when I was in junior high and was too nervous to kiss the uber attractive Kimmy Kazinski in the closet. I never pulled the trigger and that frustrated me until I was 25 years old. 

Joel: The fact that this entire fucking album preview showed up right when I was getting into Stranger Things on Netflix is further proof the universe fucking loooooooooves me bro. The wobbly, creepy ass moist forest stank of that synth towards the end of the track in "Doolhof" into that shimmering motherfucking overlooking ocean waves from a rocky cliff of "Sleaze", fuck dude, I haven't been this happy with music touching my side holes since I learned about bing.com for porn use. 

Also, whenever you have someone mumbling "jesus fucking christ" on a song, I've probably already jacked off to it.

"Sleaze" is the reason I get out of bed in the morning thinking my life is a Matthew Modine-starring wrestling montage with this inspirational ass shit as my soundtrack. To say I fucking love this band's sense of style is a fucking understatement, I mean, I just mentioned Matthew fucking Modine in an album review.

You guys like pogs?

(....a coulple of weeks go by)

Tom: No, but I like rubber clogs. You guys still there?

Joel: Dude, i bought the album, and now it fucking bothers me.

Alex: I closed my eyes for just a second and now three weeks have gone by. What the fuck? I blame the Demogorgon.

Back to the topic at hand, I concur with Thomas. "Hostage" is probably my favorite song on the album. It's just...perfectly moody-brooding butter for my soul. A close second though is "We Are Your Receiver" which was the first song I heard on that fateful dubtrack.fm day when I was first exposed to the wonder of Echo Dust (what Klangstoftranslates to in not freedom language).

Overall, this album is a masterpiece and has securely landed in my top 5 albums of the year. And even better, Klangy is touring the East Coast with Jagwar Ma! I can't wait to see this damn waffle eater in person. Klangy, if you're reading this look for me in Philly, I'll be the Daniel Tosh lookalike waddling around awkwardly because I had to duct tape my boner to my calf, again.

(.....a couple of months go by)

Tom: Dear Journal, Trump won the election. My mind was in haze and for some reason all that I want to listen to is Klangstof in my water bed beneath a electric blanket.

(....a couple more weeks go by)

Tom: Okay. I'm wrapping this SHIT up. I'm beginning to think that this album is the reason for our procrastination. I click play to re-gain some verbal inspiration and i turn back into a piece of fruit trapped in the middle of a Jello mold. 

AHHHHhhhhhh. This album just lulls me to another land where the seconds tick like minutes. 

NOT THIS TIME.

In conclusion, I'm still with Alex and Joel blows. 10 STARS. We're fucking done.