GITAR

First song. At the 1:55 mark exactly bro.

The fucking guitar solo FELL OUT OF THIS BAND BRO.

The first time I heard that little feel fall from bro's fingering fingers my interest immediately went from "heh, deec" to "bro, I need to rewind 5 seconds to make sure I felt what I fink I felt". After confirming that I had, indeed, managed to feel what I figured I'd felt, I almost owed a gambling debt to the band just to allow the rest of the album to get me on board completely.

GITAR are fucking everything.

With nothing to expect, and knowing none of the other bands the guys in this band have either played with, been themselves, or acted as touring pyrotechnician with, all of a sudden I'm fucking giddy for the fucking picture these shitshits paint on Active Cultures. GITAR just throw out this undeniable fucking sunshine funk. Shining these bae rays, where it's just as pertinent to pop and lock on a street corner in 70s gym shorts and a red and blue sweatband, as it is to rock a fresh pressed white suit with a fresh pink carnation in the breaststs, shit is fucking freeesh.

No matter where I am, when GITAR be on the hifi, I feel like I'm outside. It's hot hot summer and the sun JUST dropped below the peak of a nearby building, meaning 'tis almost esta noche, but we have some time to keep these creepy raybans on bruh. This particular evening we could fucking drink the moisture in the air bro. I'm talkin', the boys are stuck to the backs of your knees and/or your breasts have left you two smiley boob sweat marks, it's fucking humid. GITAR are the "hell yeah" one experiences at the exact moment he/she acquires a refill on an adult beverage at the exact second he/she realized they were sipping the last sip they had available for sipping. It's sip kismet bro.

Everyone's sweaty, sure, but as long as we're all walking with those pre-drunk half-smirks on our faces as we relish in the last 30 or so minutes until you still rocking sunglasses becomes suspect, shit's cool.

GITAR is so fucking unexpected and surprising you'll have at least two experiences with it. One will probably start like the above scene, but won't include Del in a sleeveless hoodie like mine did, but the other will be where you hear some of the intricately complicated guitar shit inside of the hilariously well dressed death-metal turned funk band that GITAR is.

Seriously, if you took any song, let's pick one at random, and throw distortion and a mohawk on the shit, it would fucking melt your pancreas through your Aerosmith concert T. "New Martyr", if sped up and played with the facial hair of a James Hetfield, would fucking murder. But instead of doing any shoving, GITAR are straight dangling that intensity over us and it only broccasionally do they even pick up a pace faster than slight saunter.

Active Cultures is chill as fucking Fuck, and it's a feeling I'm starting to become addicted to over any one particular track. "Spitting Upper Crust" is like G. Love dropping his jaw in shock because he discovers there are people on the planet that sound more fucking relaxed than he does, and they're in a band named after a misspelled musical instrument. And it isn't bss, drms or kys, or even vocls, it's GITAR BRO.

Oh and hey "Spiritual Dunk" should be enjoyed for a full three minutes at a meagerly paced running-man. If that' doesn't fucking jibe with you bro, then I think you're in too much of a fucking hurry for GITAR brah. GITAR will sound like a jam session for a second, and then completely shit all over your expectations with some of the most delicious musicality I've heard since last week.

Like I said, it's everything.

Almost like the band The Beets from Doug, but better than you imagined. Oh, and you drink really well to this music bro, just the tip for you boo.