Our Interview With Gayngs

I'm a pretty honest guy. I downloaded the Gayngs album for one reason. The logo. A pot leaf merged with a vagina. It was my beacon. It was what I would give to the mayor in place of the bat signal if I ever took over for the winged one. It was what I have honestly considered getting tattooed upon my lower back in place of this sketch of a bowl of macaroni and cheese that my friend Reggie did on a magnadoodle.

So the logo got me, and then while listening I'm sitting there wondering if I had mistakenly downloaded an 80's version of stoner pop or something that hadn't been invented yet.

Do you feel that? That's the feeling you get when your bowels curtsy and ask your kidneys to dance. It's the most comfortable and peacefully sexual I have ever felt outside of that time I volunteered to get slimed during Freaknic 2003.

I decided I had to fondle those responsible for this lovesex. This lovesex is called Gayngs, and the lovesexleader is named Ryan Olson.

He has my phone number for when he wants me to pant on record for him. Bet.

Listen to The Gaudy Side of Town:

SYFFAL: During our first conversation, I mentioned that I didn't understand your music without having a visual reference, and that after watching your live performance of "Gaudy Side of Town" I realized just how light you take yourselves and the music really started hitting me. Was it your intention to design my latest tramp stamp tattoo when creating your logo?

Ryan: Nope.

SYFFAL: I sometimes ask musicians to give me their dream band members for a dream band, but you kind of fucked me on that preemptively. So Fuck you for stealing my quality material, and your band of 23 on the record was a mere 10-11 on tour. You mentioned taking a bus. Please post the top 3 rules for traveling the Gayngs bus, with the understanding that WE KNOW YOU DON'T shit ON THE BUS.

Ryan: Well, from now on, our top rule will be putting a GPS tracking unit on our driver. Don't trust those guys. Besides that, we have no rules.

SYFFAL: You accomplished something in getting 23 people together to make music. I'm almost positive all 23 weren't present, maybe ever. But how the Fuck did you pull off the recording of the gayngs album with so many people to fucking deal with?

Ryan: Harddrives are surprisingly portable.

SYFFAL: The Last Prom On Earth sounds bad ass. Basically I'm a pussy for balloons. But how did that whole thing come about? Did you pitch the idea to band members who went out and found you organizers or did you do everything yourself "student council" style and raise money with bake sales?

Ryan: We had a Prom Committee, made up of friends, that took care of all that....The show itself was a bake sale for doing that outlandish shit.

SYFFAL: Please tell the story about the time you met Prince at the Last Prom On Earth.

Ryan: He watched sidestage and enjoyed himself very much, but in the end he decided that Gayngs is so good that he didn't want to get in the way.

SYFFAL: Please tell us the imaginary story about the time you saved P.O.S. from a burning Buick Skylark.

Ryan: On paper, I did save him from that burning Skylark.....But really, on that day, he saved me.

SYFFAL: Mel Gibson & The Pants, digitata, Marijuana Deathsquads - Please provide a sentence describing each. Please include the words melanoma, sauce and carabiner on your text.

Ryan: MG & The Pants: this band is extinct as carabiners. Digitata: Melanoma, or some other kind of -noma. Marijuana Deathsquads: Pure electronic hardcore slude, like sauce that is dripped all over your face until you are completely drowned in it.

SYFFAL: How does one follow up the sexy of an album like the Gayngs debut? Is it safe to assume that you're done with music? There's no shame in going out on top you know.

Ryan: Marijuana Deathsquads.

aint no party like a live gayngs party cause a live gayngs party dont stopSYFFAL: 77 Tibetan monks are on tour bus stopped outside your apartment building because of a flat tire, overheated radiator and MRSA. What is the brand of toilet paper you prefer?

Ryan: You can't use toilet paper when shitting on a group of monks' bus.

SYFFAL: You introduced me to Solid Gold. They're pretty much my favorite band right now. I have you to thank for that. Is it upsetting that I'm like completely gay for them and only like 35% gay for you? No offense.

Ryan: Nope, i live with the lead singer. Just don't come to our house, please.

SYFFAL: What is next for Gayngs and how fucking awesome is POS? I can't believe that guy talks to you! You think he'd go out with me?

Ryan: He's pretty awesome. I don't think he'd go out with you.

SYFFAL: Stay black youngin.

Ryan: U2.