Our Interview With Onry Ozzborn
Seven Questions from a Megafan:
You ever interviewed one of your favorite rappers by just sending them an unsolicited email titled "7 Questions from a Megafan"?
Me either, but I did it with Onry Ozzborn a few weeks before his latest album Duo dropped, and while I didn't expect an email back, I kinda wished he'd just answer the questions. Not that what I asked him is all that interesting, but because I am such a huge fan of dude that whenever I imagine interacting with him personally I get all kerfluffled and jittery and shit.
His fucking coolness is so obvious, I am a high school science teacher to his hot rod stunt driver.
His hair flows in the breeze like some hip hop Marlboro ad, I sweat all the time, even in the winter, and people notice.
I clip coupons to save money to buy my wife a bigger wedding ring even though we've been married for 14 years and I've used the money to fix our dishwasher twice, he recycles his plasticware and has no need for material things.
He can stand at a bar alone and look like the most interesting man in the world, I stand at the bar alone and the bartender won't even fucking pour me a shot of malort.
Onry Ozzborn is one of my favorite rappers, but he's also my motherfucking spirit animal because, damnit, I just want to feel as cool as I think this dude is for one fucking hour of my life. Hopefully my kids will see me when I get that hour, but if they don't, I'll tell them stories when they get older.
BROS, HERE IS "SEVEN QUESTIONS FOR ONRY OZZBORN" FROM A MEGAFAN:
SYFFAL: When you were deciding on what to do next, before DUO, why did the dubstep project never come to fruition?
Onry Ozzborn: Lord Sire made it more than clear that I didn't have what it takes to excel in dubstep
SYFFAL: Your son, he is the smarts. Can you list your 3 favorite bands that have nothing to do with raps?
Onry Ozzborn: At the moment Iska Dhaaf, TheMoth&TheFlame, & Alabama
SYFFAL: (I googled them all for you and inlcuded links bros) Before Dark Time Sunshine, how the fuck did you hook up with Zavala and when did you realize that dude had some seriously fucking gorgeously shimmering beaters?
Onry Ozzborn: He was in Portland working on Sleep's Hesitation Wounds, & right when I heard a few of his beats I knew immediately he was different. We linked up on a few songs after that & the rest is history
SYFFAL: Here's hoping the history has a future too. You use the term "bro bro" in the opening track on the DUO album. Thank you.
Onry Ozzborn: Your welcome
SYFFAL: *Normally I would insert a *you're, but would YOU correct Onry Ozzborn? No. You wouldn't. Even when grammatically incorrect, dude is too fucking awesome to correct.* I look at you and consider your persona to be what I strive to be when shit isn't going my way because you always seem so fucking calm. Are you actually as calm as you portray in your raps and stage mannerisms, or are you a complete fucking spaz like the guy typing this?
Onry Ozzborn: Calm exterior, chaotic interior.
SYFFAL: *SQUEALS! YAAAAAAAS!!!!* Since you basically went down your list of favorite rappers to work with and checked em all off on DUO, can we expect new DTS in the near future?
Onry Ozzborn: Yes. It will be called L O R E
SYFFAL: *SQUEALS! YAAAAAAAS!!!!* If you were given seventeen dollars and a tube of KY, which country would you invade second and why?
Onry Ozzborn: Twood be Prague, for I am Lil' Pippy from the East side