Dirty Ghosts

Everything about this fucking album is tits. It sounds exactly how the band makes me feel. As cliche as that might sound, Dirty Ghosts is this indescribably raw, erotic, pale skinned, tattooed, sweaty, leather drenched brand of modern rock that makes me want to rip the sleeves off my tshirts and make the duck face in every fucking picture. It feels like early 80's NYC but with far more comfortable tagless underwear and a smart phone.

Allyson Baker is as mysterious as she is delicious, so at the risk of sounding corny, she's a fucking mysterilicious delicstery and I want to both kidnap her and respect the fucking shit out of her. Her voice has this casual intensity that forces you to want to pay attention to her when she's merely talk-singing, but when she gets growly you kind of want to join me in removing articles of clothing. She's captivating, convincing, territorial and skittish like a Northern reticulated ground squirrel, if that squirrel had the balls to front a rock band and not sound like she was trying too hard, or fighting off being swallowed by a band with a sound as large as Dirty Ghosts.

What kills me about this fucking band is that every fucking member is fucking murdering their shit. From the drums sounding pre-programmed-tight, yet loose and crisp, to the bass just fucking thumping along like it's fucking thump day, the only thing I don't understand is why I'm so fucking addicted to the guitar on this album. Oh that's fucking right, it's cause it's fucking that weird combination of dirty and clean that sounds both retro and futuristic at the same time, AND I WANT TO RECREATE IT IN MY BEDROOM FOR YEARS TO COME.

Allyson Baker as a front voice is both delicious and human, and I notice differences in her voice across the album. On some songs she sounds like a young spritely vixen, screaming to the heavens for someone to create a more comfortable tampon. Then on some other songs she sounds like she's been crying or up all night smoking menthols talking about Johnny Guitar Watson, or even trying to get my phone number but she can't because I'm unlisted and sharing a cell phone with Ambassador to the United Arab Emirates Shaheed Muhammad Springsteen Joyner, Jr..

Regardless of what Allyson went through vocally, or personally, to get to this point and have this fucking album completed, which is flat out fucking amazing and on my list of favorite albums of 2012 already, I want her to know that I'm always here to accept Skype calls where both of us are topless and on trampolines.

The simple truth is, Metal Moon is the most cohesive and inspirational female fronted rock record I've ever heard. I fucking want to shove it into the ears of everyone I know because IT'S THAT GODDAMN GOOD. Dirty Ghosts are fucking amazeballs, pointy shirt terts, and rock as Fuck.

GO BUY THIS NOW. YOU WILL THANK ME LATER WITH A TOPLESS SKYPE SESSION TOOOOOOOO!