Light Music

Never heard of this band. Never want to stop listening to this fucking band. Never want bands to not sound like this fucking band.

Light Music sound exactly like Perry Farrell fronting Arcade Fire. But there isn't that slightly unstable vibe going on, or that feeling like the person you're watching perform is about to snap and fly into some tirade where you're altogether socially uncomfortable, sexually aroused and completely in the moment.

But there is that sense that the music is about to turn on you. Heading into something as a stationary, yet soaring majestic flying creature of some sort, battle drums soundtracking your fucking majesty, the floor soon drops away from you, leaving you to catch a breeze and flex them wangs; seriously, listen to the song "Inside" while in the shower and turn every other sense off.

Light Music have left me fucking breathless more than a few times, but that toneless buzzsaw shit on "Inside" was a ball kicker bros. This shit goes from the Brothers Allmann to the Floyd of Pink so spectacularly I've spent entire evenings playing the fucking song on repeat.

"Entre Nos Corps" is perhaps the horniest and swingingest sumbitch on the album with a chorus the size of Texas's meat, but it's the dual guitar riffage at 3:13 where I can't believe I'm on my feet waving my beer-free hand in the air and begging for it not to fucking stop. Jesus balls on a bent and rusted playground see saw that the asshole kids from the other side of town call a "teeter totter" I am fucking SMITTEN. Also, motherFuck those people. Ain't no Fuckin' such thing as a "teeter totter" and I beg you kindly to Fuck right off with your bullshit.

Then I'm knee deep into the song "Pack of Wolves" and the autotune inserts itself and I'm holding my chin as my mouth hangs open at the unexpected beauty of hearing an autotuned Jody Highroller rock chorus just further melt me into the manpuddle I knew I was going to turn into when Light Music first tickled me in my most special of places bro. This shit is fucking balls bro.

The majority of Ocean's Daughter is just as unexpected, just as slyly synthy, just as fucking inventive as Fuck. There's boppy shit, cruisin' shit, and holy shit shit, and at every turn Light Music is touching that part of your music fandom that makes you want to actually know random creepy facts about a band. Like Brendan, Shae, and Ed can't share a coffee pot because one likes Mexican coffee, one likes Irish coffee and one likes fucking hot tea; what sort of communist bullshit is that? Whatever happened to just drinking whatever swill coffee was presented to you as a sign of resfuckingpect? This is fucking Obama's America folks, I can't fix this shit bros.

As a guy who lives outside of Chicago, and fancies Wisconsin as often as possible but can't move there because Walker, diabetes, and Fuck the fucking Packers, Light Music is seriously my favorite Wisconsin band since Phox. YET! AND YET! I can love these guys more than Phox for the time being because Phox isn't at my house right now, the pucking fackers. BUT, I would like to point out that Phox and Light Music should collab on some seriously horny, synthy folk shit and then make millions and name their band "Joel's Idea", but then never give me any credit or moneys besides the awesome band name.

Someone tell these guys to accept the fact that we're best friends yea?

Buy this, dickholes!