Our Interview with Dan & Mitch aka Giant Gorilla Dog Thing

Giant Gorilla Dog Thing is a hairy beast from the bowels of hell…or in this case Albany that make the kind of rap music that makes me equal parts jealous and wanting to punch out a store front window to steal a hooded sweatshirt and a black cherry blunt wrap.

Their new mixtape Eric drops today and if you have been keeping up with the site then you already read our review of it, have downloaded it to your man pod and are now running around your neighborhood and behaving like they do in Albany, and by that I mean urinating in public. Seriously thought Giant Gorilla Dog Thing are talented as shit and more importantly they are awesome individuals.

I love these fuckers to death.

A true story about Giant Gorilla Dog Thing, or as I call them Dan and Mitch, a few summers back they asked me to come up and play an album release show in Albany. At the time my group Hangar 18 had called it quits and my new group The Crack Epidemic was just getting started. We headed up to Albany with that asshole Nobs and did the usual things one does when hanging out with Dan and Mitch, and by that I mean drink and try to pick cheese burgers out of DIZZOs beard. Anyway, I was always wildly impressed with these guys, but that night at the show they blew me away. They were fucking beast, hungry and primed to take over the venue and skull Fuck anyone that got in their way. After watching them and the level that they took their show to I decided to never rap again.

Why?

Because I no longer had the same desire and joy I saw emanating from these bastards, it was a moment of reckoning, but it was a great moment. I was filled with happiness, because I knew I was done, but that these fucking assholes were still out their pouring their hearts and souls, and ever fiber of their being into making fun, entertaining and quality rap music. For me to continue would have been shitting on everything about the music and everything these fuckers are about.

I am proud to even have the opportunity to write about these pricks and even prouder that I got to know them and consider them friends.

Giant Gorilla Dog Thing, you are the wind beneath my wings and the biggest assholes I know.

Giant Gorilla Dog Thing Interview….NOW!

SYFFAL: Our readers are a motley collective of doomsday preppers, home schooled religious fanatics and fans of Alex Jones and George Nori, basically they are dumb, paranoid and only read scripture and websites with a lot of gifs. For some reason they decided to take us on as their go to source for new music, probably because we talk about our dicks so much. So help us help them by answering the following - Who the Fuck are you?

Dez: I'm Dan. I rap. That's Mitch. He raps too. We're good at it. I mean, waaay gooder than alot of other people.

SYFFAL: What the Fuck does Giant Gorilla Dog Thing mean?

Mitch: It means we needed a name so we got drunk and watched 90s movies until we found one.

SYFFAL: Which flavor of jerky do you most taste like?

Mitch: Jalapeno... or maybe courage.

SYFFAL: Delicious! Your mixtape Eric is pretty impressive. The first two times I listened to it I forgot that you were form Albany, and then the 3rd and 4th time I listened to it, I remembered that you were from Albany, but that you were one of the good ones...is that racist to say if I am talking about a region? Anyway, what was that sort of the reaction you were going for? If not what did you hope to achieve with the mixtape?

Dez: Bigot.

Mitch: I don't think we were necessarily going for a certain reaction, other than “Wow, I want to spend my child support money on this music while my son starves, because this is that good”. The only real goal was to take shit from other genres and turn it into fun rap music, which I think we did... and yeah, you're a bigot.

SYFFAL: So be it, I am shocked that you are even able to spell bigot after coming through the Albany school system. Speaking of Albany, for a place that Cincinnati laughs at, you have a pretty impressive scene up there. What do you want people to know about albany, other than what we all already know, and by that I mean that your greatest export is prostitutes and your greatest natural resource is shame?

Dez: When this interview is over I'm going to piss into your unconscious snoring mouth.

Mitch: We also have really good mozzarella sticks... at some places. I feel like this is the place where I should spend a whole page listing everybody who makes awesome music in Albany, but then the one person I forget will want to fight me. I can't handle that pressure.

SYFFAL: Pussies. I met Joel, my partner in all things SYFFAL, at a New Edition reunion show at the Mohegan Sun Casino back in 2008. He was there dressed like Ghostbusters 2 era Bobby Brown and I was wearing Ralph Tresvant's skin from the Sensitivity video shoot. We were both forced to watch the show on TV from a rest stop due to the restraining orders that bar us from being in the same room as the greatest band ever. We got to talking about things like the proper rope to usage, how to get grass stains out and which tastes better cinnamon or nutmeg (we decided on vanilla extract) anyway we knew we were going to be fast friends and had something special. That was the birth of SYFFAL. How did you guys meet and when did you know you had something special?

Dez: It's actually one of the great American love stories. Mitch looks like he's a zillion years old, but he's actually only 19. We started sneaking him into shows as our "videographer" or our "security team" when he was 12. He's been secretly writing me love letters under an anonymous nom de plume this whole time. He revealed his true feelings last year. One thing led to another. We fucked. We got pregnant. We shit out Eric. No big whoop.

SYFFAL: Awwww. As two big hairy gents, are you expecting to corner the bear market? If so what kind of special promotions are you going to run for the full length (not sure if this is code)?

Mitch: Buy the mixtape, get a free boyfriend forever and ever and you'll never cry or be sad or alone and your parents will finally respect you and your dog won't be dead anymore. Pretty good deal I think.

SYFFAL: That is a hell of a deal and I WILL GET SPARKY BACK! Speaking of the album, I understand that the mixtape is a game of just the tip, speaking of tips I know Dez works in the the restaurant biz, can you give our readers some tipping etiquette?

Dez: Yes, "Eric" is the mixtape to get your insides wet for our huge boners when we release our full-length, "H.O.R.S.E" coming out on Pig Food Records later this summer. It's nothing short of the best album you've ever heard. Seriously. It's a dream come true.

As far as restaurant shit? Oprah is a stingy fat bitch. 10% means you're a douche. And 15% means you're just too pussy to be a full blown douche, so unless service sucked (which it didn't) you and your half-douche friends should've stayed at home, made popcorn, and snuggled to Tootsie instead of further perpetuating the stereotype that teachers and male nurses are shitty tippers. And ladies, if you ask for the check, don't just ignore the fact that there's an upright black pleather Diner's Club check presenter clearly standing on the edge of your table with your requested bill nestled inside while you and your bestie "catch-up" for the next forty five minutes. This aint no rest home grandma. And just because you're from another country doesn't mean you get to pretend you don't know how to tip either. That's a load of Fuckin elephant cum. Act right "Pierre" or I'm gunna dick slather your little sister's left armpit right here at the table in front of you. Also, there's no "X" in "espresso". Use your words like a grown-up ya Fuckin' terd. Ahem. Thanks.

Mitch: Fuck tipping. I only tip if they put the food in a car and bring it to my house... and even then, they have to come up the stairs if they want $2 instead of $1.

SYFFAL: Dez your attitude sucks and the service here is shit. I am so glad I didn't tip. Speaking of full lengths, what can we expect from the album?

Dez: Bacon. Whiskey. Dick & fart jokes. Illuminati. More whiskey. And a guest appearance from Ted Nugent.

Mitch: Our dude Absolute produced the whole thing except for 2 tracks. Metalheart did one and Nottz Raw did the other. It rules. Guest appearances from our friends. Super-rad artwork by Adam Hathorn (honkeykong.com… learn something).

SYFFAL: So are you familiar with the song Top That from the Teen Witch Movie? Its awesome right? Would you guys consider covering it for our Pop Cultures Collide series.

Mitch: There is nothing in the entire universe I wouldn't do to make you smile, so yes.

SYFFAL: Well I am smiling, and once I get the MP3 file I will be smiling in my shorts. In a way you guys are kind of a super group...lets play a game, I am going to give you a series of artists and you give them a creative name like Giant Gorilla Dog Thing - Thom Yorke, Yngwie Malmsteen, Flea and Joan Jett:

Dez: Tapestry Of Nonsense

Mitch: Yngwie & The Triple Dippers

SYFFAL: David Lee Roth, Qbert, Kerry King and Jarobi:

Dez: Gary Busey & The 12-Steppers

Mitch: The Legend of the Concrete Condom

SYFFAL: Dee lite, Dee Snieder, Dee Dee Ramone:

Dez: Sistas With Voices

Mitch: Panda Skin Rug

SYFFAL: Belinda Carslile, Billy Corgan, Skrillex and The guy that sang I am a real american for Hulk Hogan:

Dez: Last Night's Lasagna

Mitch: Barf Harness

SYFFAL: Morrissey, Old Dirty Bastard, Prince and Pete Wentz

Dez: Who the Fuck is Pete Wentz?

Mitch: Hangar 18

SYFFAL: Please promote anything you would like to promote and be sure to tell Nobs to Fuck off.