Har Mar Superstar

Because of the popularity for our conversational format we debuted a couple of weeks ago with fIN's album Wasted on the Living, we thought that we'd give the format another shot. Tom and Joel sat down to talk about Har Mar Superstar's throwback album Bye Bye 17. Overall Joel rated this as a 7 and Tom gave this sensual man-beast 9 starsies. We settled on 8. Enjoy.

Tom: You know I'm OCD about categorizing my music. And I get pissed that R&B is not separated into sub genres. This album sounds more like the retro Phil-Spector era R&B: Big production, Sha-la-la;s, and big hooks. How did we go from there to a sound that makes me want to lube up and grind all the curvy furniture in my house?

Joel: I didn't know what I was getting into when I first heard the song Prisoner dude. You're right, there isn't a proper sub genre in R&B that I'm aware of, but if I had to I would go with "rhythm and dusty sex".

The fact that I'm just as happy dancing to this album as I am playing it while I run towards and hurt myself on the slip and slide in my backyard is proof that it's nothing but a dusty soul-filled jelly doughnut of funk in my ear holes. I wasn't really aware of Har Mar Superstar before hearing Prisoner, and I've been told to stay away from his older stuff, but this dude murders this album.

Tom: I wasn't really that aware of him either. I learned of Har Mar because I have this copy of him performing George Michael's One More Try with Gayngs. This cover is one of my all time favorites because his voice blows me the Fuck away. I remember looking him up on the Googlez, but for one reason or another I never got into any of his original shit. Maybe I didn't listen to the right stuff.

Funny thing though....because I only had the audio version of One More Try, and because he sounded so similar to George Michael, I thought that Har Mar would look like a clean cut Brit with sharply angled side-burns wearing a black leather jacket containing at least 4 exterior zippers. ......Then I saw this live video.

What facial characteristics did you picture when you first heard Prisoner?

Joel: Hahaha. I pictured a sort of smoosh between Thicke and Johnny Gill to be honest. I figured dude was black, had a nice pair of loafers and a candelabra in his foyer. I never actually pictured his face, mostly because I never look people in the eyes because I'm Luxembourgian and we never do that, it's rude and potentially uncharacteristic of our culture bro.

I hadn't heard that One More Try cover, but I guess this dude is providing a service for those of us with hidden talents. He's basically dropping vocal soul gems with that arsenal of white stained pants and WAY IN innie belly button outlines and he's turning men across the country on to people who don't look like how they sound.

He's the Harry Connick, Jr of the tamale truck game bro.

Tom: Well, I'm sorry to provide the visual reference. I hope you can still masturbate to this gem.

Joel: I see a guy who is used to people laughing at him having a nice intoxicated look at his own soul and noticing that he's capable of so much more, but afraid to be completely serious about his craft that has been quite ha ha so far. Har Mar might seem like he's joking, but I don't think this dude is completely full of shit because I hear some seriously fucking powerful and masturbatory musical gems in this shit.

Seriously, Prisoner is beyond a perfect dusty soul song, it's something I could see selling a shitload of cell phones if he wasn't already marketed as a drunk asshole.

As much as I'm confused by the Har Mar machine, there's something here that tells me he isn't just having fun. Either dude's going to crash and burn and we'll never hear from him again, or he's going to go full on honest on his next album and we're all going to kill ourselves or cry from realizing we've been petting a wet dog with our collective penis and this dude is actually the Jesus of soul and we were all just too busy laughing at him to realize he's as amazing as he is.

I want him to be amazing, not just funny, because I think a few of these tracks are fucking amazing.

Tom: For me, the album is fudge packed with with the authentic 60's era flavor I've been wanting to hear since Amy Winehouse's album. Throw in that soul/funk and I'm calling the doctor because my erection is lasting for more than 24 hours. There have been too many times when I hear an incredible song that encompasses all these traits; they make me want to do a tightly clenched fist pump (not code) because I'm channelling the emotionz being thrown out of my speakers. And then when I go check out the album.....it blows.

I agree that his 'look' doesn't match the societal expectations many have placed on soul-filled R&B. When you hear authentic shit as captivating as the songs on Bye Bye 17, you just automatically picture Sam Cooke, Marvin, Stevie, etc. All of whom are black and well-polished icons. And then you click on Har Mar's YouTube video and see some Ron Jeremy-looking dude belting out "LADY, YOU SHOT ME" with fucking CONVICTION and you are taken back. It's like the Jack Black moment in High Fidelity.

Am I piece of shit for stereotyping? Probably, but I'm willing to bet the majority of music listeners were in for the same surprise. Har Mar knows this and he has fun with it; he has the harry, bald, white guy card in his back pocket and can play it any time. This doesn't mean he takes his shit any less seriously. His awkward sense of humor does not fill any voids in his music. The quality is there 100%. The hooks are there. The emotion is there. His flamboyance, although humorous and welcome, is not what keeps me coming back for more.

Joel: Yeah agreed, he fucking murders this album.

The song Prisoner will remain my go to, of course. But the track Rhythm Bruises is tight in that it's another one of those "day after songs" but he isn't singing about herpes or hangovers or mystery men eating meat in his bed upon his awakening or anything. This time it's bruises from hitting the tambourine (OR IN THE SYFFAL CIRCLES: TAM-BRO-REEN) on his thigh bro.

I don't know why, but that makes me giggle, swoon AND want to tweet the dude and tell him I'm a new fan of his and I want to hug him until I can taste him when I exhale.

DOES THAT MAKE ME SOUND WEIRD BROHAMMERS?

Tom: Not at all. What does he taste like? Drakkar Noir and cabbage?

Joel: Skin bro. He smells like skin. And I want to taste him.

Tom: Not gonna lie. That is a LOT creepy. It's no wonder why you have so many restraining orders.