Our Interview with GROOMBRIDGE
The lithosphere, is made of rock.
We electronically stumbled into the music of GROOMBRIDGE by hearing the track "Redesigned Maestro" and losing our collective pewp. And if you've also heard "Redesigned Maestro", you'd consider yourself having had stumbleds into GROOMBRIDGE, because your pewp would also have been collectively lost bros.
GROOMBRIDGE sound like Kejnu playing Arcane Roots in a major motion picture starring Christian Slater playing a dyslexic drunkard David Beckham, and it's fucking delicious. Part distortion, part acoustic glitched electro in black denim, this band sounds young as hell for fingering as many style holes as they finger on their album Boy From the Golden City.
They're obviously possessed and on the take.
We asked them seven questions in an attempt to annoy the fuck out of them and only managed to fall madly in love with them, the assholes. Oh, don't forget to go buy their album, I hear it's aces (because it is).
SYFFAL: You bastards are all excellent representations of what NOT to do with your lives. When did you guys realize you were Puerto Rican?
Groombridge: thanks mate, we'll take it as a compliment... it's not Puerto Rico, it's Sweden, but you Amercians never get that, right? btw. our new album is fucking great
SYFFAL: Is it? Your new album has a lot of references to blood licking. Is this a fetish of yours or is this a new subreddit ya'lls have subscribeds toos?
Groombridge: blood licking is a synonym for "say hi to your mom" here in greece - so it's not a bad thing at all... what's a "subreddit?" we don't have internet here in spain so what the fuck are you talking about? side note: our new album is fucking awesome
SYFFAL: Aaaaaaaaand how? When do you guys plan on telling yer mums that you dropped out of school? When do you plan on actually following through on actually dropping out?
Groombridge: Well, our mommies are all very proud that we're able to distinguish America from Russia, you know the good ones from the bad ones and shit like this... that's enough to keep ourselves above water. We even got a job at Burger King, you know, that fancy australian restaurant. Did I mention that our new album is fucking genius?
SYFFAL: S'Yes, yes you did. Since the collective age of your band is just under 40 years and your collective weight is just under 30 stone, what the fuck is a stone and how many fucking pounds is it? This is America's internet boys, don't give me none of that hufflepuff bollocks bullshit you Croatians be hustlin' bruh.
Groombridge: you lil poet. since we're from germany and Goethe is one of us I can def. tell you what a stone is! A stone is a small piece of rock. In geology, rock or stone is a naturally occurring solid aggregate of one or more minerals or mineraloids. For example, the common rock granite is a combination of the quartz, feldspar and biotite minerals. The Earth's outer solid layer, the lithosphere, is made of rock.
Rocks have been used by mankind throughout history. From the Stone Age, rocks have been used for tools. The minerals and metals found in rocks have been essential to human civilization. there we are. to be or not to be... did you listen to our new album? I heard it's mindblowing
SYFFAL: That rock rant was fucking hard dude! If you had to capitalize one curse word to tattoo on your lower back, what would it be for each of you and DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH?
Groombridge: just one word? "fuck you" will do.
SYFFAL: I just noticed I mentioned moms twice already, this makes three, should we get off moms? Ok four.
Groombridge: well...
SYFFAL: W'OK I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I JUST WATCHED, BUT I REALLY CONNECTED WITH THAT VIDEO GUYS. What's next for you assholes besides writing about me in your fucking dream journals and shitty diets of highly carcinogenic fast food and cheap liquor?
Groombridge: the same thing we do every night... try to take over the world... and yeah, you should def. buy our new album. it's great!
SYFFAL: FUCK ALL OF YOU. I WILL.
Groombridge: hugs and love
SYFFAL: More.