DOOD COMPUTER's SWEET 16 - EP. 13
Bender
If you aren't up on the rap battle scene/King of the Dot scene then you are probably one of those assholes with real responsibility, kids, and/or a recently kicked drug habit. For the rest of you, by now I am sure you are wildly familiar with Bender.
This hunk of sensual jerky meat fucking rules that world. A burly, barrel chested, bear of a muthafucker, this prick has all sorts of spittle and rapper meat stuck in his gnarly beard and yellow sweat stains on the pits of all his white t-shirts from the work he put in.
He is also tight with that hobo/drifter looking asshole named Mitch aka Doodcomputer. He is featured on the upcoming Giant Gorilla Dog Thing Album (I heard the song its tasty as Fuck) and I guess frequents Albany on the rare occassion that he has to feel his native wilderness in Canada.
We recently landed this adorable sack of raspberry tarts, Bender for his very own Sweet 16 segment, and he fucking killed it.
I recently sat down with Bender to discuss his participation in the Sweet 16 series.
SYFFAL: Hi I understand you are Canadian and we here in the 1st world do not understand your exotic ways. What is it about Canada being stuck in 2001 that makes you such a good rapper?
Bender: "It wasn't me" just dropped here, so I think that's raised the bar for us lyrically.
SYFFAL: Ahhh Shaggy, you guys are so quaint. Speaking about your rapping tell me about your experience at Mitch's recording the sweet 16.
Bender: They made me eat leftover mozzarella sticks in slow motion.
SYFFAL: Those weren’t “mozzarella” bro. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being modest ankles turning on religious types and 10 being a full blown orgy that makes the Vatican blush, how much male nudity as there?
Bender: I was blindfolded for the most part so I can't comment on that, but there was a strong smell of musk and the faint sound of bare feet walking on wet shag carpet.
SYFFAL: Shag carpet? I guess that is why Albany is the key party capital of the Northeast. What was it about Mitch’s beat that made you want to drop 3 rap fingers in its saucy slit?
Bender: To be honest I don't remember what the beat sounded like. It was dope tho. real memorable type shit.
SYFFAL: Makes sense. So this weekend I was talking with Mitch and he played me some songs you made with your group that featured your mentor. Tell me more about that sensual pot pie of awesome. And why have I never heard of him before. He is killer.
Bender: If I ever called someone my mentor I was high on MDMA. Escrols the homey, he's our secret weapon.
He doesn't spit as much as he used to but we always squeeze a verse or two out of him when we put a release out. Definitely one of the nicest in Canada, also a great producer, sings like an angel and makes a mean turkey Bolognese too.
SYFFAL: Tell him I want to adopt him all Madonna/African children style bro. Promote whatever you want to jerk face.
Bender: You can check my paintings out (I paint) and email me to buy one or commission an original piece.