Minka

If there's three things I love, it's many many swanky sass paintcakes splattered all up on the walls of a stuffy museum, and/or a deliciously subservient set of manface hairs in a tuxedo bro. 

Thankfully all of these things, and more, are smooshed all over the SYFFAL PREMIERE OF MINKA'S "JACKSON POLLACK".

Whatever you've read about this band is incorrect. They are NOT signed to Eminem's rap label. They are NOT sponsored by Kia OR Hyundai (yet). They are NOT all 100% vegan. And most importantly, they are NOT not like how they seem in this video, all the time.

Holy fucking urban swank bro.

No matter what they type out for me to read, I ignore it. These Minka fools just scream fucking fashion show, but thankfully they're screaming it in Russian, so I can only assume they are complimenting me on my thrift store dandies and not inquiring as to why I'm rocking junior high gym shorts as a 34 year old male bro.

I encourage you to remember the feel of Minka, as your late nights that turn into early mornings are going to need a soundtrack, and Minka is just the delicious taste turned sour to linger in your mouth hole while you sober up at your dead end job.

Seriously, you can't help but walk an invisible catwalk to this shit, and if you can't walk the invisible catwalk to this shit, you're obviously resisting too much and you'd be wise to let your hair down and consider going commando a few times this summer. #jorts

STALK THEM WITH US SHALLS YOUS?