Album Reviews

Anyone ever notice that once the middle of November hits, life just starts moving way too fucking fast? A week ago I felt like I had nothing going on besides the regular shit. Then I look up at the calendar this morning and instead of there being one thing on one day, there are multiple things, every, day, of, the, week. So many commas bro. When there used to be just one thing going on on any particular day, I could weigh my attendance at said thing by comparing 'doing some shit' to 'ain't doing shit'. But now that there are two, tree shits on the calendar on one fucking day, well, I'm either 'the shit' in one group's eyes, or 'a shit' in another. When it comes to stuff bro, sometimes bros just can't win. There's too much shit bro. I can no longer run from the present truth that I will...

If I cared much about the opinions of others, I'd consider myself late to the JE Sunde party. But as far as I'm concerned, JE Sunde probably doesn't care when I got to the party. And I kinda like "being a year late" to the JE Sunde party, it's roomier. So why the Fuck should I keep my mouth shut about his awesomeness just because everyone who has had his talent cock in their mouth has already spat it out by now? I shant shut it bros. My first introduction to JE Sunde was while seeing Phox in Chicago this last summer. He opened. He murdered. Even two songs into the Phox set my wife and I agreed he was completely fucking original and we should make it a point to hug him. Dude's sarcastic and completely self deprecating sense of humor was the thing that threw me off at first, because it was...

I'm not sure why artists or bands sometimes get their panties wedged up their crack when a writer/blogger/critic compares their music to another artist's. Sure, it's lazy... but most of the time it's the most accurate description I can provide. And I'll speak for myself when I say that i'm not really 'comparing' the music; I'm moreso 'referencing' traits to give the one or two readers who read my shit an idea of what to expect. Is that an excuse to be lazy? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS. But let's face it; readers of Shut Your fucking Face and Listen aren't reading our reviews for our eloquent metaphors and poetic descriptions. It's just fucking music. Readers just want to know: will I like this band or not? And maybe laugh at one or ten of our boner jokes. Boners are funny. So why does Small...

Holy dog shit in a flaming bag have I been in a musical rut this Fall. I fucking hated it. I love to lust for an album at least once a month and if I don't get my meat I'm an asshole to be around. Sure, some decent albums have crossed my desk, but like the flavor in Fruit Stripes gum, their appeal had worn off too quickly. So let me begin this fellatio in the form of verbs, nouns and many many adjectives to formally thank The Barr Brothers for helping me escape this rut. You assholes are my ray of light through the clouds. The breeze through my sweaty breezeway. The everlasting flavor in my Fruit Stripes. And the umbrella sheltering me from dat cold November rain. Now that I got that out of the way... let's talk about the music, which for some reason approached me in stages during a 2...

Allow me to preface this fucker by saying I have no idea who Flight Facilities are/is/be. Del always slyly slides me shit to listen to that I don't really care to research a history of who is who, I just wait for then good musics to fondle my side-face holes, I giveth no Fucks who you are. But, I responded to a friend's question about what I was listening to that very second while working on some mind numbing data entry shit at worky work. I was listening to Flight Facilities that very second. In fact, when dude was asking me what I was listening to that very second, that second I was actively skipping the track I was on because it was absolutely fucking horrendous. Yes, I am about to discuss some fucking BALLS ass music that is clutched in the same bunch of bananas as music that made me...

Free Fall is the fetus-as-fully-grown-ferris wheel of Edgewize (He's the rapper) and Self Destruct (He's the D.J.). Hailing from San Jose, the pair brims with the usual unusual flourishes in terms of both production and styling. This knack for bits of quirkiness becomes apparent on "DNA", The Gray Area's aural prolegomenon, during which its final twenty seconds unravel into a into managed mania. Edgewize from jump kicks you in the stomach like nut pain or strong, freshly-brewed coffee. His ability to grab the narrative by its throat and guide it through Self Destruct's measured, announced beat maze is the highlight of The Gray Area. Self Destruct goes to great lengths in laying down a terrain that is as tense and tendentious as it is toe-tappable and triumphant. The...

If you don't know who Graves 33 is, cut off your pinky toe now and dip the bloody wound in salt you dicks! Graves 33 is a multitalented Seattle-based wizard of production, raps, video directings, and paintings. This Fated Empire record he orchestrated is one of the best "crew" albums since crew albums started crewing. Fresh off of his intrumental record, Smoke Filled Rooms, Graves 33 lends his production prowess to Fated Empire and solidifies his place as the official conductor of the Forest Moon of Endor's house band. Consisting of raps from Graves 33, Sarx, Man Danno, Name The Uncanny, Heretic Skeptic, Name Clone, Burnell, Washburn, Mercies May, and Cesar of Literari, Fated Empire, Is one of those records you listen to on long late night drives on repeat. "Chemical Change" has...

Haerts will make you want to emerge from a pink lit fog with a white fringed leather glove on a single hand - one finger pressed against your lips - saying shhhhhhhhhh. Their self-titled LP will appeal to thirty-somethings who grew up on a steady diet of John Hughes movies and HI-C Ecto Coolers. It's dramatic enough to be taken seriously and catchy enough to blast out of the t-tops of your Datsun. And while the album makes me feel the 80's nostalgia it's a consolidation of relevancy in the present. It's almost a mashed up compilation because it incorporates so much of what I love in such artists as Stars, The White Sea, The Naked And Famous, The Horrors, Wildcat! Wildcat!, etc. ...Bands/artists that reference they 80s without it sounding gimmicky. Three songs off this album in particular...

I have always said to myself around Christmas time: "I WANT ALL THE DRUMS". Aaaaaaaaaaaand thanks to Jupiter Lion, I have all of thems now. Holy fucking balls is this album all about dat drums. Jupiter Lion have already been deemed kings of the category I made for them in my dream journal. What's their category you ask bro? Jupiter Lion are the quintessential definition of "I can't keep my hands and feets from tapping and stomping and stomping and tapping and why are my teeth clenched and why can't I help the fact that I feel like I'm constantly falling". Brighter follows suit with Jupiter Lion's previous release Silver Mouth in that they're not something you listen to when you're trying to unplug. Jupiter Lion is what you put on when you're about to go head on into your own...

I was one of the guys who discovered his appreciation for country western music on behalf of Trent Reznor. His project with Johnny Cash peeled away the corny ass sheen from the entire genre for me. I never realized there was a difference between country and country western, but once I saw the line, I knew what to immediately ignore and what to occasionally allow. I had thought every country topic cheesy, every country guitar lick predictable, shit, every country song felt oddly related to the last song I’d heard. I didn’t get it. Johnny Cash’s ability to write a song about killing a man and have it sound romantic was something that I remember asking my dad about while still in high school. (The following conversation is paraphrased, because foggy memory bro.) “You think he’s full of shit...