Kauf

This dude Kauf makes electronic music that makes me want to swim in fucking pudding. 

THERE, I SAID IT. Not "fucking pudding" bro, I ain't into other people's fluids and shit, but fucking "pudding". I mean that seductively smooth and thickly viscoused delivery vessel for the delicious bro, THAT pudding.

Kauf is the mayor of viscosity city bro. 

Every fucking song this dude drops feels like I've heard it a thousand times before, and not only is his shit erotically relaxing, it makes me feel like however fucking fast life is flying by me, I still have my Kauf to swallow with my side face holes to calm me the fuck down. It's almost like Kauf understands that life is extremely and uncontrollably fast for most of us and it takes the private performance of slow embrassing Christopher Walken like dancemoves to place the pill of the chill in each of our front face holes. 

Now swallow. 

On Kauf's new new, "Through the Yard", there's that sensual sheen to it, but this time it might actually be made exclusively for massage parlors and "me time" where we focus on our own pleasures and mental health because it's so fucking entrancing and comfortable I lost my pants before Zamfir stopped by with his panflute. And yea, that Zamfir panflute drizzled all over this sumbitch makes me want to light a stick of incense, call it a punk, and then light off a bunch of fireworks in my front yard, record the shit in high def on my cellular telemaphone, and then flip the video backwards, replace the sound of explosions with this fucking song, and then watch that on repeat until this constantly and consistently-American nagging trait of all over fucking impatience passes. 

If you haven't found Kauf, please consider finding Kauf in your safe space, because this shit is safe as fuck in that it's the most comfortable thing you'll insert into your side face holes today.