I am not sure if you are aware of this but there appears to be an epidemic afflicting the women of the Upper East Side, that epidemic is in the form of horrible plastic surgery. There are more fucked up bee sting looking lips, dolphin noses and mismatched apples to oranges tit jobs per capita on this small section of island than anywhere else. I know you are probably saying “Tim, what about LA?” what about it, LA is different, it is a town built on an industry of vain Fucks who think wearing Ed Hardy shirts into your 50s makes you look cool because some big fake tit peroxcide blond will let you make love on her because you got some dough or might work for a studio. The Upper East Side, while quite wealthy, are just regular people who are not in the spot light or trying to break into porn. It is peoples moms. Sure the people they are mothers too are dick bags, but they are still just someone's mom. plastic surgery, disasters, madonna, priscilla presley, bruce jenner, ted dansonIt is almost as if every third woman over 40 has had one of those creepy clean halloween masks melted to their face and then put make up on it. There is no way they could look in the mirror and think, “I look just like I did when I was in my 20s and sucking off people for coke at studio 54.
For a while I felt sorry for these women, I wondered about what kind of society we live in where women feel the need to mutilate themselves in order to keep up and feel worthy. But that feeling of empathy quickly went out the window when I realized that these women are a rare breed. They are in no way representive of women nationwide or world wide. They are part of a culture that worships the material, that focuses on the bullshit that really isn’t important. Plus YOU LOOK LIKE A fucking FREAK, when you are 56 years old, 19 year old dudes arent supposed to be like “look at that hot piece, i would save all my part time job money for a chance to drop a digit on that!” I cant think of a foxy older gal that has had work, for that matter that hasn't aged gracefully. plastic surgery, disasters, madonna, priscilla presley, bruce jenner, ted dansonSame for the fellas, who looks better at 50 something, Ted Danson or Bruce Jenner? I guess if you like middle aged lesbians you would say Bruce Jenner.
I guess at the end of the day it is your face, go sick, but if you are really going to carve yourself up to only end up looking like frankenstein with a pig nose why not go all out and just let someone throw acid in your mug and go all phantom of the opera on us.