Conner Youngblood

Who the fuck is Conner Youngblood and why am I braiding my chesthair seductively while standing up through an open moon roof while my driver drives me down a country lane littered with husks of corn and the occasional kernel? 

Is it harvest already?

Why the fuck is something as seductive as "Stockholm" available in the first place? I can't be this sultry and swoony in public bro!

When the harp strangs got all fingered on either side of my face, I thought my hippie sister's cell phone was ringing or some shit, but it wasn't that, it was all Conner Youngblood being all Conner Youngblood. What a dick. Your patience and desire to see me topless is as fucking offensive as the horse you rode in on being named "Glue".

Someone slap this motherfucker. First he gets his twitter hacked, then he somehow squeezes out this diamond terd of relaxation and introspection and I'm supposed to forgive him? 

Fuck him.