Rare Monk

Sometimes, all you want is a fucking chorus you can scream, a bass line you can play in the shower, and an air lead guitar you can bend over towards your toes and lick the fuck out of. I don't want to know the intentions behind the lyrics, I don't want to know what cabin the shit was recorded in, I don't want to know what sort of irritable bowels these lads in Rare Monk might have, JUST GIVE ME THE SONG BRO. I ONLY NEED THE FUCKING SONG.

Thankfully Rare Monk don't ever really send in the fluffer to get things moving. Rare Monk are their own fluffer and their own fluffer is Rare Monk. These dudes don't start gradually or try to act sexy to get your blood pumping, they just put shit in their mouth and here I am singing their praises for singing their own songs of praise. 

By no means am I insinuating that Rare Monk are a christian band, but I know they used to get reefer from a guy named Christian. I mean, I read their tumblr, HELLO! Oh, I'm also not saying they provide fellatio at their shows as an incentive to come out to their shows, but I AM saying that you will get blown at their shows. Why all the confusion bros?

"California" is fucking balls. CALIFORNIA WILL BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!

IT WILL! IT DID! IT IS! IT WILL AGAIN! 

Rare Monk make music that makes me remember bumping Matthew Sweet CDs and smoking dirt weed out of Bic pens in high school. Yes, it was a Catholic high school. NO, Christian didn't go to my school.