Kinder

As cocktail umbrella season comes to a close, it's time to prepare our respective sex dungeons with seasonal incense, a good vacuuming, and an update of the all important sex playlist.

KINDER just showed up with the sassiest sex song of the summer send off. "Stone Cold" makes a motherfucker wanna rub ice cubes all up on his nips and dip each big toe in a pumpkin spice latte and then thrust them hips all up in a northerly direction. Yes, we bought pie pumpkins in September, and YES, those are phallic shaped gourds on the bedside table, and YES, the lube has a faint hint of cinammon and mulling spices.

It seems like this KINDER fellow is all about making me feel comfortable with all of the impending sex. And while the beat is helping me Michael Stipe dance across the bedroom, since we had to move the seasonal sex party inside due to dropping temperatures and those pesky yellowjackets that like to sting them taints, I'm putting my money on that fucking bassline as the main reason why I'm so damn sexy right meow.

"Stone Cold" is more than enough sass for me to rip this tankini off and replace it with my yoga pants and ugg boots.

I, for one, welcome our yoga pantsd and ugg booted overlords. 

Oh, and don't forget... PSLs bro. PSLs.