Interviews

A few weeks back I was listening to my favorite podcast, Who Charted? With Howard Kremer and Kulap Vilaysack, and their guest was Jensen Karp. I had no idea who Jensen Karp was but by the end of the podcast I was sold. The dude knew his shit. What shit you ask? Everything. I immediately subscribed to his podcast – Get Up On This – on the SModcast network and downloaded a gaggle of those fuckers. I spent the next few days consuming all things Get Up On This. Jensen Karp and his co-host Matty Robinson are completely engaging. The guests are always interesting and charming and the content is right up my alley; new shit that I need to be up on. I recently sat down with Jensen and we talked about a gang of shit included Nelly, cured meats and old white guys....

Sometimes the internet gives you something that makes you giggle. And then sometimes the internet gives you something that makes you both giggle AND realize you aren't alone in this world. I mean, it's hard out here for a guy who draws dicks on everything. I normally get excited when autumn sets in because it means I can sketch cock n' balls on random car windows and windshields. I normally keep the bathroom door closed when I shower so I can tag my bathroom mirror with a sloppy doodle of the cash and prizes. I even draw the twig and berries in the snow with my own urine on occasion. Fanatical? MORE LIKE FANADICKAL, AMIRITE? Anywhoo, I found a new friend named Shannon O'Connor (or ShredToon as she is known on AOL chat, or Shannon O'Connor as I call her on text mexages) through another...

People of the internet, what you're about to read is totally fucking awesome. This is an interview with Allyson Baker of Dirty Ghosts. I love this band so fucking much I have already vowed to tattoo their name on 33% of my children. This needs no introduction, but out of a respect for the entire process, I've left my email to her intact as it was written. Ready? Allyson, I'm not going to lie to you. I refuse to read that other interview Tim did with you based solely on the fact that before us, there was nothing. We now exist in a strange space and time where existence wasn't existence and space wasn't space because, to tell you the truth, life was the first 45 minutes of Flash Dance before we met. It was all greasy burgers, dirty leggings and clogged shower drains. You and I, we are going...

I can't remember exactly how I came across Yellowbirds' latest album The Color, but I'm glad that I did because it was one of the more interesting albums I listened to last year. Usually for me, the 'interesting' label is applied to some originally weird avant garde shit, but this album is far from experimental. In fact, The Color is extremely listener friendly... and it sounds original. How did they do that? Yellowbirds is the moniker of narcissist Sam Cohen. Sam peaks my interest because he is able to incorporate so many genres into his songs by using remarkable tones and harmonies. The tracks sound very modern, but retro at the same time. We caught up with Sam to ask him some deeply personal questions, but also about this refreshing sound that makes my ears...

My friend Maggie (I call her Poots) sent me a book last month and said "Read it.", to which I responded "Don't you tell me what to do.", to which she responded "Eat my ass.", to which I responded "It's already been broughten.". To which she responded by stopping talking to me. She is so moody. I blame her ovariesies. Anywhoo, the book she sent me was titled Crazy Enough and it was written by notable Canadian-American pastry chef and critically self-proclaimed professional recipient of le penis, Storm Large. I had no idea who Storm Large was, but I'm crazy for broads with multicolored hair and a horrible nailbed, so I felt it necessary that I give the book a shot based solely on judging the book by its cover. So, being a huge book nerd who loves reading while moving my bowels, I read the...

Rifle Men's music reminds me of after shave commercials. It is smooth, soothing, usually wrapped in a town, and smells like a man which drives the ladies wild. It also drives me wild, just not in the same way, for me it is more the way a hunter and gatherer type gets excited about kissing his cousin or finding road kill for dinner. I salivate and excrete pheromones that are only detectable by sheep herders and vegans. Their EP Treewolf is Dead is perfect listing for damn near everything from wake boarding to a bris and everything in between. It is lush and gorgeous and harkens back to the day when men were men and they often had pubic lice and scurvy. Oh those were the days. SYFFAL: Please tell our readers the following: - Who are you? - Who does what in the band? - Which brand...

I’ve had Doomtree in my earholes for years now. They continue to impress me with their furthering of their chosen genre (scat-jazz), whether it be with clothes that actually fit, lyrics you can actually understand, or checking accounts that actually balance. What’s also fucking nice about Doomtree is that with seventeen rappers on stage at all time, there is never a dull moment. And much like my numerous trips to see the Harlem Globetrotters, I can always count on individual players to wow me, but it’s the teamwork that makes me bring my many many childrens. Doomtreer Sims is one of the main faucets of hell yes I’ve had the pleasure of watching and listening to mature over the past decade, and while occasionally tepid, he is always an enjoyable source of the potable. If I had to summarize...

Doomtree are an enigma wrapped in a gluten free peacoat. They portray this welcoming and accepting group vibe that is as large as the genre they perform in (lo fi indie power punk), but it's all a fucking sham. They are only out for our fucking wallets, our farm animals and our toll change. They are as conniving and selfish as the hairs on my head. While, yes, I'm lying, they are indeed fucking annoying. They all eat healthy, they are all undoubtedly some of the nicest people on the fucking planet, and they fucking rap good. Whoever the Fuck these prick shits think they are, they are annoying above all else. Rappers aren't supposed to be likable. I want my rappers like I want my professional athletes: drugged up, entertaining pieces of shit that I would never invite over to my house for...

Around these parts, if we review your album, feature your video and do an interview with a band we consider them to be family. It is part of the SYFFAL community outreach program. Well my friends, I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the SYFFAL family, PAPA. PAPA is more or less two guys who may or may not be conjoined by choice. They have a few adopted Filipino kids who they record with and keep chained up in their studio, the subjugation really creates a nice use of sound and space. Anyway this whole group is now part of the SYFFAL tribe, and I expect you to treat them accordingly. They are after all sensitive musician types and not used to daylight and manual labor. SYFFAL: Most of our readers are either in prison or work release and don't have time to read bios on...

You might remember Andre Abramowitz from the early days of the site as the salty Armenian looking fellow with a love of punk rock and fantasy baseball and distaste for everything else, especially that cock sucker Del LeFevre. Well young Andre has moved on to greener and pastures and is now the writer and executive producer of History’s (formerly known as The History Channel) upcoming special Zombies: A Living History, which features yours truly as one of the Zombie horde. Andre has been knocking around the world of TV and Movies for a while now and this is his first special. We couldn’t be more proud of and excited for him. Zombies: A Living History airs on Tuesday October 25th at 8pm EST on History. Check your local listings to see where History is on your channel guide...