Our Interview with Bob Ducca

Bob Ducca is the ex-step father of Comedy Bang Bang (Formerly Comedy Death Ray) host Scott Aukerman and is played by comedian and former artistic director at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, Seth Morris. Bob was married to Scott's mother Gloria for an earth moving 7 months and has yet to recover from the loss. The majority of Bob's appearances focus on his one sided efforts to repair his relationship with Scott, discussing his ailments and various attempts at therapy, and prying for information on Gloria and her love life. Bob Ducca is a poet, an author, and a semi-reputable member of the community of Castaic,CA where he keeps his home.

We recently caught up with Bob and talked about his hobbies, health, and plans for the New Year.

SYFFAL: Bob, most people know of you as Scott Aukerman's former step-father, but there has to be more to the iceberg that is Bob Ducca. Tell us about your childhood and how that shaped the man you are today.

Bob Ducca: My child hood was not a happy one. When I was eleven my father got a job two towns over starting another family leaving me as the "man of the house." It was my job to do the house hold chores and to care for my record-breakingly obese mother. Each morning before school I would change her tarp, duct tape an elephant-grade defibrillator onto her chest and pray to God that she'd be alive when I got home. These were awesome responsibilities for a child which I believe contributed to my fear of women, my distrust of men and my numerous health problems later in life. That and the fact that we lived downwind from an allergy factory.

SYFFAL: According to your Wikipedia page your very time consuming hobbies were the cause of your divorce from Scott's mom. Have you taken any lessons from that? Or has the heartbreak from the divorce caused you to delve further into the sordid world of hobby?

Bob Ducca: Like any addict I often seek comfort in the very thing that causes my problems in the first place. I recently went on a five day Soduku bender which left me sleep deprived, penniless and with a viscous pencil callus on my finger.

From this answer it may seem like I haven't learned any lessons from my divorce to Scott's mother but I assure that is far from true. It's just that my spirit has not yet accessed the learning that it's yearning to burn...... Actually I'm going to need to go to Barnes & Noble and re-read the jacket of the self-help book I was trying to quote just now. I obviously don't remember exactly what it said but it's something along the lines of not taking responsibility for the poor decisions I've made.

SYFFAL: I understand you are an author, poetry, prose, etc and even launched your one newsletter. Please tell our readers what they can expect from your news letter and where they find it/subscribe.

Bob Ducca: I have found putting my feelings on paper to be very therapeutic. My newsletter will feature original poems, inspirational quotes, medical device reviews and essays. I have not yet written any editions of the newsletter.

SYFFAL: In our recent interview with Scott he informed us that in a podcast recorded in 2010 for 2011 (which is the CDR way) that you announce you have been cured. Are you cured of all your ailments (almost 50 in all) and if so what was the wonder-cure?

Bob Ducca: Sadly, your information is inaccurate. I appeared on my beloved ex-step son's show while suffering from what is known as "hopeful dementia". H.D. is a disorder which causes the sufferer to see the world as he would like it to be, not as it is. While visiting Scott that day I was in a fugue state believing that my health problems had disappeared, small children weren't terrified of me and that I was no longer invisible when crying in public.

SYFFAL: Sorry to hear that, we were quite happy for you. Since that brief spell of "hopeful dementia" have you come down with any new ailments?

Bob Ducca: Yes, thank you for asking. Earlier this week I was diagnosed with tennis elbow, croquet taint, stalker ankle and Jamaican jerk chicken pox.

SYFFAL: You have benefitted from numerous forms of therapy, I am sure some of our readers could use therapy but just don't know where to start or are afraid of what it might entail. Do you have any advice for them?

Bob Ducca: Keep an open mind when searching for a professional to help you with your problems. Also, don't be a stickler for what makes someone a "professional". I've received invaluable help and advice from on line therapists, people who leave pull-tab flyers around town as well as a nice gentleman who was waiting out a rain storm in a laundry mat..... I'll never forget you Captain Cod. I hope you were able to obtain a new wheel for your shopping cart and that Eugene turned out to be the stab-free land of meth and honey you said it would be.

SYFFAL: In addition to your unauthorized face painting booth at the Castaic Farmer's Market how else do you give back to the greater Castaic community?

Bob Ducca: I continue to offer excellent house-sitting services at rock bottom prices. I read to senior citizens until I'm chased off by a coherent orderly and I routinely check all the pay phones for left over change.

SYFFAL: Any travel plans for the upcoming year?

Bob Ducca: Yes! In Spring I hope to travel to Robisnville, Wisconsin and visit Our Lady of Good Help Chapel. For over 150 years tales of miracles have brought people from all over the world to this special place. It's my understanding that after touching the shrine to our Beloved Mother many physically handicapped persons leave their crutches, canes, walkers and wheeled chairs behind as they no longer need them. I figure I can save a nice chunk of change on medical supplies by collecting as many of these discarded mobility aids as possible.

SYFFAL: Since we focus heavily on music what was your favorite album of 2010?

Bob Ducca: People who know me know that I'm a HUGE 3DD fan (that's 3 Doors Down for those readers visiting from the planet Mars!!!!) so my answer won't be much of a surprise. The best album of 2010 is the song "Shine", a download only single written to promote the 2010 Winter Olympics. I also still consider 3DD's National Guard tribute "Citizen Soldier" to be the best song of all time so I guess that's in there too.

SYFFAL: How do you plan to spend New Year’s Eve? Will you be joined by your roommate Dennis?

Bob Ducca: Sadly Dennis and I no longer live together. We lost our home/shed in a sterno can fire last month and I have not seen him since. It's like I will mark the New Year as I usually do by observing the ticket booth shift-change at the Rinaldi Street Greyhound station.

SYFFAL: Finally, any new year’s resolutions?

Bob Ducca: In 2011 I resolve to practice better above-the-waist hygene and to notice smiles more. I believe that smiles are like miracles; they're there if you look for them. I also resolve to start writing my news letter.