Whale Bones
Hiding From The Sea (Acoustic)
Maaaaan, I fucking HATE "acoustic" sessions.
Fuck your coffee mug with the mustache on it that makes it look like you have a mustache every time you takes a sips. Fuck your knit hat you wear yearfuckinground. Fuck your worn out courds. Fuck your Docs, fuck your velcro wallet, fuck your shitty choice of caffeinated beverage.
AH SHIT I'M LOOKING IN THE MIRROR! So fuck ME!
I admit to hating the kitsch factor of acoustic sessions, but I apprecaite them in some capacity because they seem to weed out those bands that suck ALL OF THE BUTTS because it's just fucking raw balls or OMG EW! STOP PLAYING MUSICS!
Some bands are fucking made by stripping away the effects, and some are exposed as posers with really obvious health issues (like being an asshole, we can hear that on acoustic guitars bro).
One of my favorite new bands of recent is Whale Bones, and while they only gave me an EP so far (which I fucking love), I don't want this relatively new phen-joel-nomenon to fizzle out by succumbing to the pressure of NOT making new music, but making old music with different fucking instruments. Some bands like to have the 4 songs they DID write get remixed and covered and all that shit, and while they think they're being cute, I just think they're avoiding writing new music because that would ALSO expose them as being one fucking trick fucking bronies.
Stop playing songs acoustically and then releasing recordings of them as new music bros, just fucking make new fucking music.
Buuuuuuuuuut then I listened to the acoustic version of "Hiding From the Sea" here, and I'll admit that all of my above bullshit as it pertains to acoustic shits does not apply to the Bones of Whale. Holy fucking balls on a miniature Christmas village sprinkled with faux snow that we should probably spell as snaux, THIS SONG IS EVEN HUGER WHEN NAKED.
I was once a Whale Bones fan, but I'm now an admitted fan boy. Jesus fuck shit these assholes are talented.
I just hope that one day, ONE DAY, they'll dedicate a song to me and allow me to throw my manties up on the stage, where they will land, with a thud.