One Song

Kauf reminds me of a leather chair. NO, WE AIN'T TALKIN' FETISH PLAY BRUH! I was first introduced to Kauf a number of years ago, and back then I had this awesome chair where I would intoxicate myself and listen to music. I attribute the feels of sitting in that comf ass chrrr to more than just the value of the construction and material comfort it afforded me. I owe a lot of that chair's comfort to the music I discovered while sitting in it, in various stages of intoxication. For some obvious reason, Kauf's voice always relaxes me, his beats always soothe me, and I always look like a fucking asshole while listening to him because of the random body movements I am inspired to perform while he is inside of my side face holes. ENTER "Key to Life"....

Cars & Trains is fucking with us.  Portland’s electronic-folk toy-instrument live-looping god-piece is straight up fucking with us.  He has released Secret Worlds, a new 1-track album scrapped together from remnants of piano/cello sessions with musician William Ryan Fitch and long repressed memories.  What gaul Cars & Trains must have? Releasing a record with 1 fucking track. Next he’ll tell us that he’s going to start including Planes and Razor Scooters.  “Secret Worlds” is tinkling and childlike a it builds and builds and adds new layers on top of new layers until it hums to a frenetic crescendo like a first kiss.  Cars & Trains, you bastard. Getting me all worked up and panting and then you just leave. No note. No...

Audego kill me.  That lilt of her voice paired with that fucking thwap of dude's beats, fuck that shit kills me. I'm dead bro. Seriously though, after obsessing over "I don't need you" I'm the human demonstration of what your body would look like if you were one of those toys where the animal is stiff until you push up on the bottom button and then it falls limp. Every stutter start of every verse finds me limp as shit, slowly erecting myself until I'm at full mast, and then the galloping happy happy that the plinking synth exudes makes me fall to the ground in a pile of my own happiness. Audego keep me on my toes broes. Playful, but unbelievably pained and therapeutic. I LOVE THEM. THEY LOVE ME. WE ARE A MATCH MADE IN CHINA. 

I don't think I've heard the end of this song yet.  I can't make it all the way through the 3:38 without starting it over. The start of this song is so fucking perfect I'm almost offended by the remaining 3:10 seconds.  Whoever the fuck From Indian Lakes is, this shit is shimmery, clicky, pleading, and completely fucking gorgeous. I've been closed eyes and neck a floppin' for the last half hour as this song has ruined any chance I had of finishing that last TPS report before lunch. "The Monster" sounds moody enough to be about a dead body, but bright enough to be about 10 for 10 limes on sale this weekend at La Markita on the west side.  I'm not sure if this is pop or rock, but the instrumentation being so eerie and the vocal being so dainty, fuck, it's almost...

I have no idea what to say. For those of us in our mid-30s, Zack de la Rocha's voice makes our bowels rattle. Dude makes my skin vibrate. Dude makes me want to scream until there's nothing left but a whistling whimper. This dude makes me lift weights like I'm saving the oppressed. This dude makes me think thoughts about the problems of people that my white skin normally allows me the pleasure to never have had to experience I can't review this song. I can only share what I think I've been waiting years for, I just can't remember there ever being a moment where I didn't hope this dude would help speak the thoughts I never thought I knew I needed to think. I will say this about "digging for windows", I punched the air on the fifth listen of this shit. Zack...

OH, I'M SORRY.  IS MY WAVING ARM DANCING DISTRACTING YOU FROM YOUR OWN SENSE OF JOY THAT THIS SONG SHOOTS UP YOUR POOPER LIKE A HAPPY SQUIRTING BIDET? Did I just equate using a bidet to lisning to Trails and Ways? I did. I do. I'm into the butt stuff. "Happiness" is exactly what I needed today. It's all cloudy outside and I needed that inside sunshine that only a T&W track can elicit. I fucking love these assholes.  Like I said, butt stuff. I likes. 

Astronauts are the soundtrack of choice when determining which direction to turn when I come up on a fork in the road bro. There's this deeply rooted sense of contemplation, and then acceptance, and then immediate fucking regret in every song. It's almost like the performance of the song is its own redemption though. "Breakout" feels like the part of the movie where the decision has already been made, the blood is drying, but you're almost ready to walk back into the room without any ammunition. This shit feels like the finale in the movie of your own life where instead of a happy ending, you're on the receiving end of a magazine full of ammunition to the belly, and rather than bleeding out like Mr. Orange, you hobble to your feet and walk back in just to haunt...

I don't really wear fedoras. Nor do I wear collared shirts very often. But KINDER makes an unfashionable motherfucker like moi wanna tuck their shirt in and act like they polishin' cuff links that don't exist on this tank top with a drawring of a pig on it. "Light" sounds like I'm taking single steps, where one foot steps ahead but then I bring both feet together. I'm creepin' on beat, I'm nodding my head on the 2 and 4 while sporting a shiteatin' grin, I'm the guy you wanna punch because I'm so fucking smooth and in the fuckin' zone. I dig how this is R&B/pop, but the fretless bass acting like an automatic air freshener turns the class knob up past 11 for me bro. KINDER took this kegger and made it a dinner party, na mean?

Holy shit. It's INDIAN WELLS! Back in 2013 I was OBSESSED WITH THIS DUDE! (Seriously, read this from our old website) Indian Wells is the fucking king of building builds that end up being gradual bridges over uncharted waters onto lands we've yet to discover. Every fucking time I even THINK about listening to Indian Wells I get all contemplative and wish I was able to toss a tennis ball at the wall over and over and over and over as I lay on my bed at peace.  The pace of "Racquets" is intense, but in a way I could only describe as being a sort of soul massage because it doesn't lull you off to any where besides the present. But it's that chase scene type shit you needed to walk out of your office with conviction. It's the soundtrack to eating...

The vocals on Leagues' single "New Money" kick me square in the gunt.  Dude almost sounds like he's pleading with his own reflection in the mirror. Sure, it's similar to The Neighbourhood, but I get this awesome Win Butler and Astronautalis vocal voltron of intensity, inflection, and tone. I'm fucking smitten. While the tempo of the song seems uplifting, the vocal kicks you in the aforementioned gunt to bring you back to the reality that shit sucks sometimes. Thankfully the rasp and wail of this dude takes some of the edge off of all that potentially happy shit. I love hearing music that makes me film the music video in my head instantly. This is one of those. All I need is a fat fucking budget and some oreos and shit.