Videos

There are times when I have a hard time writing these things because I can't think of what to say. For , "Bling Coats," the new video from Sixo feat. Ceschi and Hologram Dagger, the opposite is true. I don't know whether to start with the song's timely topic, Sixo's eased out production, or the bathtub scene. Fuck it! Let's start there. I must warn you. In this video there is a scene where Mr. Ramos takes a bath. There is still time to turn back. Still with us? Dope. Just the other day I was just asking Ceschi for some back hair advice. Not only does the muscle behind Fake Four, Inc indeed have four fingers on one hand, he also has this elbow dislocation technique for getting those hard to reach spots when shaving your back. Like right on your shoulder blades. He calls it the...

Kleenex Girl Wonder fucking murder this video brosepfs. This is exactly what you should say to your video guy when he asks what you want in a music video. It doesn't have to mean anything to anyone, it just has to be fucking mindblowing. I JUST GOT SERVED UNDER THE TABLE BY A MINDBLOWER BRO. This is by far my favorite animated video with the words SUCK MY DICK and fuck flashing across the screen with some amazingly erotic and disgusting cartoons with cartoots of 2013 so far. Seriously, the dude with the cheeseburger for a head and the chick doing step aerobics and the tattooed naked chick at the end? KLEENEX GIRL WONDER MAY VERY WELL BREAK THE INTERNET WITH THIS. I just grabbed the new albm from KGW, and I have yet to listen, but holy shit on a Great America caricature of me and my...

This band is addicting. Seriously, you start listening to If We Don't Do It, No One Will on Monday and by Friday you've gone through it about a dozen or more times, and everything starts to look like this. This video, for Moving Forward, is exactly what I had hoped to see after listening to the EP for so fucking long. Brooding and inspirational, I could receive oral pleasures while hearing this song of course, but now because of how cinematically delicious the video turned out, I could video tape myself learning how to dance in the mirror and play it back with a grainy filter on it and I'd fit right the Fuck in. This band is awesome. Love them. Good Morning Love is the terts.

If you aren't aware of Carnage The Executioner, he looks and sounds rather intimidating.  Unfortunately, he's the squeeziest, most lovable rap character on the fucking planet, after our own Tim ALASKA Baker of course. Then again, Tim is prone to night sweats and has a fear of condiments. Carnage on the other hand, is prone to bouts of joyous laughter, handshakes that turn into longer than normal bear hugs, and he raps like if he doesn't concentrate on his raps his raps will fall off.  Please to notice that Carnage is being led, handcuffed of course, through the anus of a dungenous crab by gold masked clad druid type characters who, if you listen closely, are all whistling Take Me Out To The Ball Game. It's this dichotomy of evil and good, mean and adorable, scary and "awww, it's fucking...

This is disturbing. Awesomely disturbing. Just when you think you're about to stop obsessing over P.O.S.'s album We Don't Even Live Here, he drops the video for Weird Friends. What's in this here videya? Sparks, saxamaphones, doors, gymnastic double jointed side show freaks, and those are just the things P.O.S. himself participates in bro. I LOVE THIS. And I'm scared of this. And I really need to wash this shit off so I'm about to take a dip in some Rob Thomas on Pandora bro. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick. boltcutter, boxcutter, brick....

Jake from Rhymesayers just fucked up any plans I had for tonight because I plan to spend the next 24 hours analysing ever aspect of this video. FUCK! Joel's note: JAKE HAS AMAZING CALVES. TED PAQUIN HAS AN AMAZING NECKLINE.

Dreamy and superficially sensory sensational, Shy Kids are unknown (for the time being) and currently my favorite band that reminds me of the time I got a handjob during a screening of The Lion King. It's poppy, gritty in some respects, fun to listen to, and if I'm any judge of the character of a band, they are NOT insisting that raising children right is easy by having that as part of the lyrics in "Raise Em Right". If they were, well, they can do right to suck a fart out of my fucking luscious fart box. Regardless, this shit is fucking awesome and I've already downloaded their 3 song EP and decided they are one of my favorite bands of August. AND AUGUST JUST STARTED BRO. GOOD START AUGUST BRO. ATTA BOY AUGUST. (Total shout out to Auggie Doggie out in Colorado. HI AUGGIE!)

God dammit. I hate when I see something that reinforces just how uncool I am. Sure I am just an old fucker now, who points his finger at the kids downtown who make me feel uncomfortable because they are still young, drunk and making the mistakes that they will have to pay off for the next 20 years. And sure I have gracefully entered a new and exciting stage of my life, but I am not talking about that kind of cool. I am talking about an unobtainable cool that in my teens and 20s I would have mocked to feel some how superior, but deep down I knew I would never be as cool or exciting as. I fucking hate it, but at least now I understand it and I can appreciate it from a distance with the kind of longing one feels when they revisit their stomping grounds as an adult. It's amazing what foreign...

Tyler, the Creator is back with another banging jam and creative video to put the rest of these fuckers to shame. I was born in Yonkers and my family is from there so I have some affinity towards it, and while I don't know what it has to do with this song, who cares? The song is the fucking tits.

Don't know much about this Earl Sweatshirt cat from the OFWGKTA crew, but the rap skills are undeniable. Dude is fucking Nasty, like most of Odd Future. Looks like some young skate punk rap shit. I will search for more and keep you posted.